Don't Understand Myself!!?

I would like to make more friends and have a social life that actually exists.

 

But thing is that I can just never really connect with anyone. I can have conversations and laugh about stuff, but I just get kind of tired talking about stuff like that and all of a sudden when I am with a group of people and we're talking, I just start to wander in my own thoughts and think about what they just said and think that they are in general really self-centered, or foolish or mean,etc. 

 

When I was in school, I knew a lot of people, but they were just never my friends, I can't really put it in words.

 

Then, when I recently started college. I went with a positive attitude and decided that I would make a solid group of friends. I tried my best or at least what I thought was my best, but then after I realized what kind of people they are and what crap they talk about, I just felt like ignoring them and kind of started to  despise them.But then I also start feel lonely almost all the time.

I just can't understand myself 'cause I want friends, but I just end up almost hating the ones that are my friends.

So, I guess the problem is in me, but I've always felt like I don't belong anywhere'

 

gamingzone3 gamingzone3
18-21, F
Mar 4, 2010