Just Visiting

I have always felt different and apart from anyone I have known or have been amongst.   I have felt throughout my time in this human body that I am from a different place and time in the universe.  I am not crazy even though you may think so.  I have nothing to prove nor wish to gain attention by exaggerating my feeling of uniqueness.  I Googled what it means to be an "Old Soul" or "Old Spirit" and it seems that I am not the only one who feels they are from another place and time.  It is very hard for me to explain how different I feel from people.  I can say with 100% certainty that I will never acquire the coping skills necessary to maintain healthy relationships with the staus quo.  I have met people similar to me and it's like no explanation is necessary to understand how we feel.  I can morph my personality to get through most situations but I never become fully emersed or committed to a particular group of people.  I am sad about how mankind has evolved.   People share the planet but are not connected to one another globally that is.  I observe the world as if it was an experiment of a higher life force / form.  In the time frame of the universe, mankind will not last infinitum.  Mankind will come and it will go.  Our time here in the life form we've come to know as human is only temporary.  The earth will change or experience a cosmic event that will wipeout our existence and any trace of our presence here.  I cannot prove nor disprove what I have written here nor do I wish to convince others that I am right in my understanding of my presence here.  I am sad because I cannot experience the serenity that others appreciate because I am an observer and not a participant even though I can pretend to participate.  How amazing it would be to have a relationship with a woman who gets what I have written here.  I don't know how I could ever share this story / experience witha woman without 99% of them thinking that I am totally out of my mind.  I don't know why I felt that sharing my story was important tonight but something inside me said I should let my presence be known.
Modsquad Modsquad
46-50, M
2 Responses Jul 15, 2010

You're not alone in feeling this way. I have often felt this way and like I'm crazy or being too grandiose about myself... I told my father when I was younger "I feel different" (that was the jist) and he said "sure honey, we all like to feel from time to time that we are special"... etc. It was like ... no. You don't get it. But I doubted myself. appreciate you sharing this, it's a validation in that sense, and I think maybe those of us who feel like observers all the time or some of the time, are the light workers who can turn our pain or the pain of what we see into new perspective to elevate ourselves (we must have come back/down here for a reason) or help others. I have met someone in life who doesnt' think I'm crazy (and he worries about being crazy himself!) and it's no rose garden, but there is someone out there. There are women who will be open and be able to hear this.

Modsquad and Cheryl65, I am the same as both of you. I actually made a post about this using this profile, so you can check it out if you want and see if you relate. If you'd like to talk, send me a message.