I Feel Like I Don't Belong On This Planet

I know there are others out there like me, but I would like to share how I feel.

I'm in my mid 20s, and throughout my entire life I have been depressed. I have felt like an alien on this planet, and I hate it. I have been on many medications, and even went to a psychologist for a while. Nothing worked, because my issues are very deep, at a soul level.

I can't bring myself to commit suicide, but I really want some illness to take me out. I feel like everyone is so happy with their lives, living this fake life. I don't know... I am not like everyone else. I feel like I should be in a place more advanced than earth. It's like people exist on such a low level of awareness here.

If I died tomorrow, I would be happy, assuming there is more after this material existence, which I believe there is. It crushes me even more to know I have many years left here, I just can't stand it.

If anyone wants to talk, I would really appreciate it. I need to talk to people who feel the same way I do, because there is no one else I know who feels the way I do.