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I Don't Belong On This Planet And I'm Waiting To Go Home

For as long as I can remember, I've always felt homesick no matter where I was. I always knew home wasn't here on Earth. Even as a child I'd watch people, how they interact with each other, examine their features, their behaviors, and I've wondered why I'm so different, why I don't even feel human. I act as human-like as possible, but everything I do is very different from everyone else. When I'm in physical pain, which has to be very strong because I'm very resistant, I laugh. Emotional pain, I numb all emotions.
I always want to be alone. I'm usually in my room, reading, writing, sleeping, gaming. Or at the library, where not even my parents can bother me. I have many friends, I just usually hang out with them at school, and I tend to come up with excuses to not hang out after school, because I'd much rather feel alone. But I think it's because I'm really not alone at all - I feel like there's always someone, one of my kind, with me in my heart. However, I still have the need to find my own kind physically.
I've always had an extreme fascination with the stars. I can spend hours and hours just staring off into them, admiring their beauty. When I do this it comforts me. I don't feel so alone in this world. But I scan the stars, like I'm searching for home, but I've forgotten exactly where it's at. I often get these extreme urges to go home. Lately they've been stronger than ever. I want to go back home, where I belong.
I have always been very mature for my age, but this isn't exactly a good thing. I have trouble with making friends. I am very intelligent, and often find myself correcting my instructors and teachers, but I don't always apply myself because my mind is always off elsewhere, exploring my own interests.
I also don't get close to people easily. I'm only close to two people, and I only love four. I don't really like people too much. But I'm very loving towards nature. Now, I'm not a tree hugger or anything, but any abuse to animals or plants gets me angry and I feel even more ashamed of humans. I'm a fighter, not a lover. I love to fight - but it competition. I'm the only female in my martial arts class, as I have been for two years. I fight against older men in their twenties, thirties, and forties, and I'm in my early teens. Many people find this odd, but I have an extreme attraction to fighting, and I think there may be a purpose for that.
I feel emotions that I know many people have never felt before. I can tell exactly what someone is feeling by just looking at them - they can have a huge smile on their face, but inside I know they're unhappy. It's vice-versa for others. I can also tell nearly exactly what someone is thinking, or what they're going to say before they open their mouths, by looking at them and/or feeling the energy they're giving off.
If a UFO or strange aircraft landed before me, I'd be the one to run right to it. I've seen two strange aircraft near my home before. They both occurred at night. The first time, I followed it into a pasture, but then something told me to run away. I hesitated, but I ran away. The second time I chased it and chased it until it disappeared. I wish I would've continued to chase it though... I want to go home...
I don't feel human. I don't belong on this Earth. I don't know my purpose for being here, and I know I have one. But I want to find my purpose so I can leave as soon as possible. I want to go home. If anyone feels this way, I'm begging you to message me... I want to go home, I need to find my own kind..
Insanityynk Insanityynk 13-15, F 146 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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I don't understand it either. I am going through the same thing and can't find the answers.

This is quite interesting honestly.... i've lately been having these same urges that i don't know exactly how to explain. I feel as if i can't bond with others in a certain way. yes i have plenty of friends and appreciate every single one of them. I've just had this feeling that i don't belong here. As if this isn't where im suppose to be. I have these strange vibes in which i can't explain how they feel. they're not bad or good. In fact i don't even know how to respond to them but i sit there and let it take its course. There are about 5 people i love and would do anything for. As for what you said about the UFO i've also felt the same way. I even believe i'd give up everything i have on this planet just so i can see what else is out there, possibly a way home.

i to am the same! What can we do?

I seriously wish I could have a real life conversation with you and many of the posters. I feel so alone and forgotten. Forgotten by someone and left here on earth. I can remember as early as 10 saying out loud but to my self "I want to go home". Right now more them ever I feel sort of an urgency to return, like it my time to go.

I think it was be nice to have an online group for people like us. We're not crazy, just homesick for where our true home which is not Earth.

This is crazy I feel the same way like I have dreams and visions and all types of things going on.its hard for MW to get sick
I fight a lot but its because I love so hard I love nature I think about it everyday of my life I feel different from everyone..I feel trapped and I try to get ppl to listen to me but they are like puppets..

I feel very similar, but with key differences that make it seemingly as difficult to live this lifetime on this planet.. I do handle pain differently than others, I'm capable of withstanding most trauma, but I find myself indulging in emotions as oppose to numbing myself. I'm a lover with a fighters determination, I fight for love. I feel very human at times, but that only further demonstrates contrast when the majority of the time I feel so very different or even much more than this life expression named by another being.. I too long to find my home, I do not believe this is it. I look in the mirror and weep frequently. The realization that I don't belong here is rather unnerving.. I would prefer to be rid of these emotions that suffocate me, this emotions that don't feel as if this originated within in me, but instead..thrust upon me.

Starseeds, starseeds, and more starseeds.

All I have to say is, you're not from here but you're supposed to be here because "God" is helping everyone on Earth. All the ignorance and hate - sorrow and pain that you see here.

I too have felt this, but it's been recently that I've figured out my purpose on this Earth (Also known as Gaia (ring a bell?). )

This planet was once a library and a testing facility to teach extradimensional beings to practice evolution and creation (which is what we'll be doing as well but we're not ready yet, obviously).

Some of us are walk-ins, light workers, star seeds, etc.
Some of us literally got ripped from our homes and placed here because we have the skills and abilities to fix this planet.

Some of us are higher dimensional beings getting pushed back to help
And some of us are actually implanted here because it's our graduation test. If we can accomplish this test (helping each other, being good and acting out in the name of light and love) then we move onto a higher dimensional level of thinking.

I feel like this is all I can tell you, there's this notion in me that's letting me know that I blabbed too much lol alot of this is supposed to be self-realized but an extra push never hurts, right?

Well hopefully with this information - your spirit can be put to a calm vibration.

Same with everyone who's related to you on this level.

I love you, starsister. Don't forget it. You'll find out your purpose on here just as I have :) If you ever need someone to talk to, advice, questions, etc, feel free to email me or something.

"I come in the name of light, truth and love"

Maybe we should come together and try to help eachother meet our reasons of being here I feel like that's what we should do!

How can we make this happen? I would love it.

I know this feeling very well, and until now I thought I was the only one. I feel like everything around me is of no significance and that this is just a holding place or even a test. Im still young and ive moved 26 times in m life. Not a single place that I have been has helped me feel anymore at home than the next. Ive gotten to the point where I would rather be asleep and dreaming than awake because in my dreams I feel more than when im awake. More like I belong. When im awake and trying to talk to anyone I just feel like everything I say and do is just completely different and odd compared to everyone else. Ive been told many times I just have extreme anxiety or depression, but it seems to be much more than that.

Hi my name is max I've felt this way since I was very young wondering hoping I wasn't the only one in this position I too don't feel human actually I feel quite strongly to how you are please get in touch with me I'm the Ninja king 13

You're a starseed :)

I am glad, there is someone else who feels this way too. It is such a relief to hear your story, it makes me feel better to know there are other people who feel the same way. Every day, I live my life just wishing I could go back home. It is somewhere up there, but I can't seem to remember.. I try to find different ways of catching glimpses of my home. Because I can't return home yet, I can only watch it and think about it from afar. I look in the reflections of broken glass. in the rain puddles, in the eyes of people passing by. Those are the secret windows to the universe where I truly belong.
But I know, there are other people who have forgotten, just like me. People that I feel a strong connection to. I'm trying to make them remember, slowly, secretly. Because we don't belong here! It makes me so depressed, I hate being trapped here with no choice. We have to get back home somehow. I think the only way, must be death.

not even death , somehow we all are yes here waiting for something, I feel I lived a hundred lives, death for me it would be to start all over again. feels like a prison just doing my time, past memories of being man or woman places I've never been is so familiar and at the end goes back to a sadness ,I spend my time talking to my self all day questioning screaming on the inside for them to come and get me, to found myself looking up the skies for a sign, looking at one particular star yearning am left behind and I feel them out there just waiting as well,but they cannot come I feel their presence telling me to wait, they are so many and also many kinds of star people and my kind is so far behind the Sun, but not our Sun another galaxy and is taking thousands of years on earth time for this big ship or whatever thing I see in my dreams to get to earth, he the one who create US is there only Him has the key for them to come ,I have seen so many things in the skies even in the middle of the night to go and look up ,messages I written I was told where I come from , not by my own kind but from a different being someone from the past ,and traveled from time between the time. somehow one morning I woke up and wrote this.

I don't belong here either. People have been horrible to me since the age of 4, when I started retaining memories. Bullying, terrorized by my mother, rejected by peers, preyed upon by male and female employers in my 20's. I am now in mid life and want to go "home" where ever that may be. I can't stand most humans and wonder how they can tolerate their frivolous lives filled with BS. And yet, they seem like they love it. I am a female, and women, in particular avoid me. Yes, I am attractive, but I'm an introvert and artistic. I would put those two qualities as my defining characteristics over beauty. It just makes for a very isolated existence. Maybe we are older souls who have been in the physical world so many times, that we are tired of returning and want to solely exist on a spiritual plane of existence?

Im the same way.

Reading your story,I can say that we are very much alike in a lot of ways,I have felt out of place since I can remember,and I always new I did not belong,I also have a love for martial arts and am a black belt.I used to ask God to let a space ship come and take me away,but now that i am older I realize that I am human but I was sent here by God to do what I can to help people,since I came to this understanding I am a lot happier,for I know that when my workis done on this earth God will take me home,and I have decided to try and be happy here on earth because I am doing the work god sent me here to do.

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?????

Add a response...I m desperate to go Home. I know the Source and hate being on the Prison Planet of Earth which is led by a satanic force. I am looking for like-minded people in Connecticut or New York to hang out with or join a group. Please email me at dgilbert777@hotmail.com if you are real.

You are here to learn how to interact with human race and watch the begining of technocratic and bureaucratic society and how to make life stronger and not be dependent on technology but not without it. Here it begins. Touch it but dont be touched. This is just small part of huge journey....

You have truly touched my heart with this... I feel so much the way you are just only I'm a lover not a fighter. But I do too feel like I don't belong here at all. I've seen the world through different eyes my whole life like what is the purpose of this for real. I don't fit in here and I can't be like these humans are. Ive been wondering why am I here all my life. And I see people like you do. I don't know what it means myself either. I've been depressed about it all my life. I know I am 3 years late but I do hope u respond. I am a 26 year old female. I really hope you or someone responses to me so we can talk about this... Because I feel like I don't know myself either.

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I feel the same. I can't understand humans anymore and I really know that I'm not from here. I also want to go home asap...

I don't relate 100% but I don't fee like I'm supposed to be here. I'm homesic for a place that doesn't exsist. I crave it. Also I feel people's emotions deeply. Sometimes too much. I love the people in my life but something is missing. I feel comfort looking Into the sky and I know somewhere home is there.

I feel this. I can relate and respond to every word. Smile Skywatters, home is somewhere. It must exist and if not then it needs creating :)

I don't feel like I belong here. I really want to go home but I don't know where home is. I feel connected to nature and animals but not to many humans. I feel like a lot of my past isn't real, I don't know how to explain it. No one seems to understand me and I feel what other people are feeling easily. The other night my baby niece was crying and my mother was babysitting her. I could feel her sadness so strongly and it felt like she missed her own mom more than anything. When I held her hand I could feel the energy transferring from her body to mine and I was overcome with such a strong sadness I had to leave the room. I'm always hoping that someone will come to take me home but I feel alone, like I'm stuck here. I'm only fifteen, I don't know what to do. I just want to go home.

I also love the stars, I feel very drawn towards them and love just looking at them. I struggle in school because I zone out and don't focus, but my grades are still good. Everyone calls me smart but I don't find so because I get so stressed out with school work, it seems very pointless to me. I am not good at making friends and often avoid hanging out with the ones I do have because staying at home in my room alone is far more appealing. I definitely feel like I'm here for a reason, and I want to figure it out so I can go home. I've felt so lost and hopeless that I've considered just ending my life because I feel like that's my only way to escape.

am a 3rd Grade teacher, who is 34 and still looking for answers. I may be a bit late on this, but I think I am supposed to reply to YOUR post. Look up........heaven is not as far as we think. Hit me up. Thmtobin2...........is @...........aim.com.......cuz they think it is spam, put in "Rowan Escape" for the title. I WILL respond. Stay cool.......its not as bad as it looks. ..........but it is, however, you are not alone.

I do feel the same way but I haven't experienced any such incidents. I have always felt out of place and that I have been put here by mistake or something. Its like everyone knows how to live here and I dont. I have always wondered why is it so. I always look at people on this earth as a third personas if I don't belong here. In particular situations I have felt like going back but not knowing where. I havent ever felt suicidal but that urge to leave earth is something I have felt. Since childhood stars and the outerspace have always interested me, including aliens. I have always felt that I have come here to help people and I love nature just the way you do! I don't know what this means !

Hey! I'm in a little group of wonderful people, we all feel the same way. It's scary almost, how much we all have in common. It is absolutely wonderful. We haven't come up with any answers to what this all means but we have company through it. If you're interested, or even just want to talk without ever entering the group, or whatever, you're more than welcome to message me, if you want to.

I, too, am not from this planet. But I've accepted that I am here for a reason. When my daughter was born I knew she was different the moment I first saw her. She was my inspiration to try to make sense of being here and discover what this phenomenon is. Research star children, indigo children, and crystal children. I've found a lot of good information which will hopefully enlighten anyone experiencing a sense of not belonging here. My purpose is to help enlighten people and bring change to humanity who are self-destructing. If I come in contact with anyone I can automatically feel the energy. I chose a career path that puts humans right into my hands. I'm a hairstylist and massage therapist - with that I'm able to tap into their energy field and begin to shift it. For some who are more resistant I find it drains my energies which causes me to want to retreat and be alone. I have to say lately, especially this past week, has been a very difficult time for me. I long to go home, but I know my work here is not finished. Meditating with moldavite has helped me greatly feel connected to my home while here on this earth. Lots of love.

Woah you have such a good attitude. It is so refreshing to see :) xxxx

Thank you. Any light I can shine brings me joy! :)

Moldavite. I have seen it advertised for sale and doubted it as I am very careful who I would buy it from. Where did you get it? And you say it works for you? If it is the real stuff it can be a good protector. Would love your feedback. Thank you.

Hi ... Yes you do have to be very careful when it comes to moldavite. There are, unfortunately, a lot of fakes out there. If you see a piece that looks "wet" and shiney its a replica. I prefer to go in person when I'm purchasing any crystals rather than over the Internet for one reason... I have to feel their energy. Moldavite resonates a very high energy so that is another way you can tell if it's real. Moldavite has eased my "earthly worries" (such as financial worry and fear of the unknown). It eases homesickness. It has also helped me realize my purpose here. But I must warn you working with this stone can cause you to space-out so it's recommended that you ground yourself. Therefore when I meditate with it I always have smokey Quartz with me.
I hope this helps you. If you have any other questions just let me know. :)

Also, I'm not sure how much you know about moldavite so I'd like to tell you why it helps in this particular situation of feeling like you don't belong here. Moldavite is a form of tektite - a meteor collided with earth and formed this powerful and rare stone. Therefore it has properties of earth and properties outside of this earth from the universe. Looking at it through the light and just holding it is mesmerizing. And it will allow you to feel connected to the universe while you are here.

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I agree. I am also more aggressive than others (only female in my karate class), I am always correcting my tutors (can't believe my science teacher didn't know about the Bali Tiger!) and I have a fascination with the stars. I don't make friends easily and I prefer to be alone.
Maybe we're the same species?

Please add me on Facebook "Thinjax Depth"
Or google
'THiNKjAX'
I thought I was reading a documentary, about myself.
Just message me on Facebook and say, (experience project)

Let me answer some of these questions you where sent here to change the world. All of us where honestly that's why we do not feel as if we belong. It's because we don't there are people out there that loon at us as enemy's because they know we will bring change. And that thing that make you feel as if your not alone that's what's known as a spirit twin. Look into it it's very interesting. But what we are are children of the great mother earth other then these humans that surround us. We are here for the better we are here to make the shift from stupid to enlightened. Tell me will you help me male this change or will you let it die. It's time we unite it's time we fulfill our promise before things get bad and we watch our loved ones die. Please help me

Would love to talk to you further on this topic Johnnyboy. Please message me privately if that is ok. Not sure everyone feels the same way that you do but I get it.

I think you're right, but I also think there is so much evill that surrounds us and scare good people these days that the people that has the power and potention to chance the world don't believe anymore. And that's what they want. That the good guys are afraid, cause people that are afraid are easy to controle..

I'm 31 and I've felt exactly what you're feeling to a T . Always outside the box. I tell everyone I'm a watcher. I watch things. I feel things and see them where no one else does ,but I'm a talker at first, but avoid anger...never turns out well.......I however am emotional numb and have ok people skills,but no one to talk to and no friends. 31 yrs is a long time with no real friends... Makes me not only seem odd, but feel odd. Ps. The stars,ocean and sciences of the anatomy keep me not so down. Good luck, it's a hard and lonely road we take.

Well Said.

You described exactly how I feel. Always wanting to be alone, watching people do things like they're from another planet, feeling and sensing that you're here for a much greater reason...Perhaps our kind will all get the chance to go back home but for now we can only wait patiently. Best of luck to you.

They call us highly sensitive people. We tend to be extremely intelligent and Sensitive to the energy of other people and the universe and that makes us different from everyone else, which then makes us feel like we are alone and disconnected from everything. Some of us even absorb the energy of others and that makes us feel tired just by being in the presence of another human being. We need time to regain our strength by being alone. You have to accept that you are human and you are nor better nor worse than everybody else. Just different. Now the thing is, we were born with so many rare gifts and habilities useful to make the world a better place and we shouldn't waste them. For example, we are the best kind of leaders known to mankind. We are great listeners. The downside of this whole thing is, we are susceptible to being depressed, disconnected from the world, day dreamers... Once i figured this out with the help of a friend, i became much more aware of what surrounds me, and i am now able to enjoy life here on earth. I simply try to focus on the moment like paying attention to the sound my keyboard produces while I'm typing or the freshness of the water that i drink... you get the idea :)

Amen to that. Once we accept we ARE here and meant to be... here to experience and live in a human form. life becomes easier and not such a battle. We 'enjoy' and take in all the ups and the downs as a lesson to learn from rather than the why me mentality we get into the why not me xx

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

Yea I suppose I feel quite like that. I would choose nature and animals over humanity any day. I'm 17 next month and I don't belong in this world either. Everything I do in school and college is pointless I can't see myself settle for a life like this. I'm also interested in astrology Magic star signs that kind of stuff. I also feel very disconnected and depressed I have never ever spoken to anyone how I feel it's never the right time or place but I want to. I'm bored with my life everything is so pointless no matter how hard I try. I go to bed and wake up with the same thoughts everyday. Why am I here? What's the point of this and why do I feel like I don't belong. In school I had friends but they stopped talking to me after we all left. I know most of them still talk to each other but no one is interested in me anymore. Now I'm in college and I feel I don't belong everyone has moved on in their lives and making something of it. I know I don't fit here. I know I prefer being alone and I'm better with animals and nature rather than humans I get so angry when humans are just there. I hate talking to people it makes me feel so awkward and out of place I just feel stupid all the time and trying to work out what I am supposed to do with my life

I know exactly how you feel lol I sound like a patronising liar but I honestly do.

I know exactly how you feel. I am much older than you are and still feel the same way. I do pet care full time as I cannot work in corporate anymore. Being with animals instead of people makes me joyous. I desperately want to live in the woods in my cottage/cabin one day with the animals and my connection to Source. Why not do pet care and make some money being with the animals? You could dog walk, overnight stays, etc while you are in school. Getting out onto nature trails would help too. Sending you tons of love!

I suggest you research 'starseeds' and 'light workers', that might help :)

I'm 47 and I still feel that way, and the older I get it seams that I have more info or remember form were I come from. I think that the planet I'm from we don'T have parents, we are grown in artificial uterus. Not sure if we are clone or not. Anyway it's not important. I think we are here for a reason... are we on a mission? maybe. This world is dying. Maybe we are here to send the people on this planet love and show them the right way before they self-destruction. Our mind can influence them, it's call telepathy. I'm happy that I'm not alone on this planet.

lately, I fell like I've been getting responses, as you mentioned how we were brought here, for 37 years I've been told not not to procreate, not to mix Or even love, but am still human, that side of me has two precious little boys, which I love them with all my heart, but only feeling like am keeping them for A short while,.. no men yet not inlove, but I do feel and wonder why..
that's when I get these answers .. moments where am from, then is when I hear my true place is no emotions, no pain , no body, no flesh just to wait, the time on earth is much slower. .but I feel like I've been here a hundred years remembering each cycle as a man or woman, but this time I so feel it will be the last cycle as my star people tell me to wait and only watch. , when I get this messages I take pics of my surrounding s. to the Sky and right after those messages are things on the pics , flash of bright lights crossing the skies but only the camera shows.. orbs, ufos and at night same

I am jealous you are getting messages. I wish I could hear them again. I pray my star people reach out to me soon. I can't wait to leave the Planet. Love to you.

when i was a child I could hear them talking to me and sometimes they were in my dreams. During the day I would lay down on the grass and look straight up to the sky watching the clouds go by and be amazed by this universe and I could feel them near me. I still do ,sometimes, feel there presence and I feel that they are coming soon.

You're a starseed

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I am.. and right now is the one of the moments i feel this way extreme and crying it is like my soul wants to get out

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Hello i feel the same way im 15 m i always stare at the stars i always find myself alone from people even my parents i have always been able to feel peoples energy and heal people when i was about 6mnts my mom told me that there were butterflies above my crib in the winter and i have a couple of friends at school but i never hang out with them after even when invited i have never had a girlfreind every time i get close to some one i randomly feel like i shouldn't be with anyone and dont know why and since i was very little i could feel when someone was sad but looked happy and viseversa i would realy like to talk with my own kind

My kick is lucasreinc

And i always have trouble cosentrating on my school work i always see images of the cosmos in my head and other planets i wanted to tell people i know but i dont want them thinking im crazy i know im not im very smart i just seem to only use it when i want to i just want to meet others like me

Hi everyone. I decided to Google my feelings haha isn't that funny. Well I'm gglad I did because I often times feel like I don't belong here and a piece of me leaves. I'm 26 now but I've always been mature for my age. I can relate to y'all very well except for the stars.I used to sometimes stare at them but now a days there's barely any stars where I live. I know a lot of ppl but somehow I still like to be alone. My friends often times want to hang out but most of the time I blow them off. Idk it just feels as though there is no one around that's like me. I feel like I can't love to an extent that's so amazing almost perfect. But I feel there's no one that can love me back the same and I feel I would be single my whole life. I can also feel ppl energy, what they're thinking or what they're going to say. I'm just ready to go. I love my family nature and life is beautiful and im very appreciative it's just I feel very disconnected

Can*

I feel the same way. Just try to keep positive.

Were both the same species who posses the same abilities. I'm amazing you exist!

I have started this PRIVATE group just for people like us, so that no-one else but us can see it. Please join us there. It's safe and secret. You're NOT alone:https://www.facebook.com/groups/1560089687610780/

hi do you have just the name of the group or perhaps your name on fb the link isn't working for me.

Funny. You're the second person that's told me that. Maybe it's this website that's blocking the link, although it works when I click on it! Strange.. I've sent you a pm with my Facebook name so you can friend me and I'll add you from there.

Hi, it seems that there is a dash (-) in the link after 'facebook.' and that shouldn't be there. Perhaps trying without that would work? ^.^

What dash? I can't see a dash love.. I think you may have something in your eye lol x

O.o there was a dash, I am 10000% percent sure of it... :/ just ignore me, I'll go sit back in the corner lol

What are you like Belle? DOH! lol

The link won't work for me either, Im guessing that the group might have to send us the request in order for us to become apart of the group

Please friend me on Facebook and I will add you to the group. Sorry folks! My Facebook name is Loo Black and my profile pic is the UKIP logo. See you soon!

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Are you an Aquarius? We share the same exact pattern. It's like, nothing personal to the ones around me who care, but I feel I would be better off in a world of people like you and me.

I don't know if star sign really has any baring on this, because I am Gemini but also share these with you and the original poster and the majority of the replies. I think we ARE better off being in a world full of people like us. My e-mail address is belly.jessy@hotmail.co.uk. If you you would like to contact me, then you are MORE than welcome to. I probably won't check this often.

Someone needs to message me. I have seen so many post that poeple have made describing my feelings. Describing my thoughts. Writing as if they are specifically writing for me. I could've posted 99% of these that I have read and they would have still been true. i don't know if I can post my e-mail address here but I am going to try to anyway. Please, someone, contact me (belly.jesst@hotmail.co.uk). I need to talk to someone about things. Thank you.

I've sent you a private message on here, as your email address is bouncing! Could you please rewrite it, as I sent you a long email that I really want you to read. Thank you

Hello crystal guide. I'm so sorry, I was really really tired when I wrote that. It was daft o'clock in the morning. Because of that I wrote my damn email address wrong. It is belly.jessy@hotmail.co.uk. I accidentally replaced the second 'y' with a 't'... I will check my pm's now. Thank you so much. I'll reply to you ASAP. Sorry about the confusion with my emails address.

I often question myself whether there is something wrong with me, because I feel that I do not belong here. Don't get me wrong, I love my family/friends and I think that Earth is a beautiful place even though humans are destroying this planet.

But, overall, throughout my life, I have always felt that my home is somewhere 'out there'. Whenever I venture outside at night, I always look at the stars in the sky, whereas most people probably wouldn't even glance at the stars unless there was something to look at. I also feel homesick when looking at the stars.

I am also an observer. I observe things around me, which include people; and I can sense their feelings, too. But, I am a introverted individual, so I don't need to be around people, though I am not a loner type.

Sometimes I would ponder why am I here. I am sure most people do, too. I remember a day I was sitting in church at a baptism, and the priest said that God has a purpose for all his children. That statement made me felt uneasy, because does God really have a purpose for everyone? Does God really care about everyone? Does God exist?

I have never had any experiences with UFOs. But, once upon a time, I used to meditate. One night I found myself in a different world where everything was so dark, yet so bright because I was surrounded by stars that felt so close, as if I could reach out and touch them. But, I didn't try to touch them. The stars felt as if they were intelligent life-forms watching me. It was beautiful. It also felt as if time did not exist. I felt happy. I felt home. But, I felt very sad when my meditation was broken, because I wanted to stay at that place.

So overall, I am happy to know that I am not the only person in this world who can relate to your experience. :)

I have never really shared my thoughts with anyone. I have nothing to lose. :)

I feel the exact same way!! Also I've had problems with past lives that I'd like help with if anyone could help? It would be greatly appreciated!

That is so me...I just wanna leave already. All my life I wanted to develop a way to go, but know its just like...anger I feel so alone.. and for some reason I dont like other humans, its like Im better off without them.. but ive always felt like someone is watching me waiting for me to do something. Wver since Iwas little and im only 18 idk

Once I have truly managed to meditate with the guidance of a video from you tube. (Which off, I have never found again)
By the end of it, I have became one with the universe, I was a star or nothing(Can not truly describe).
It was dark, no fear, no happiness, no time, I was one.
At the end of the meditation I was asked to come back to planet earth. Suddenly I started to cry of the thought of returning on earth. I opened my eyes to find that I actually had tears rolling down on my face.

ive felt like this my entire life and I don't know why. I went to the hospital because my doctor said I had something extremely wrong with my stomach and it stumped all the doctors. They said I should be feeling very hurt, like I was dying. I didn't feel any pain. I had very serious illnesses like the swine flu and other diseases that could have killed me at that age but I only recovered in only a day or two with no pain or feeling diffrent at all. I've never felt like I belong here and I'm very intelligent as well. The stars are something I stare at evey night and the only place I feel safe or home. It's nice to see there's someone else that feels this way.

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Ditto exactly

I have just read insanityynk's essay and I can't believe there's someone out there that's EXACTLY the same as me! I'm almost 60 and have felt this way for my whole life. It's just like the lovely little girl has just interviewed me and wrote my story. I sincerely hope we can find an answer to this aching feeling - her, even moreso than I, as I wouldn't wish this on anyone for as long as I've had to bear it. I hope we can all stay in touch and talk sometimes, as I know NO-one personally that is remotely like me or understands who, what or how I am. I can't believe I've found this website - at last people who I can relate to, after SO many years of this pain and longing..

I won't write about any more of my experiences, as they have nearly all been covered exactly by almost everyone on this topic - I have even replied to some of them, with some of my own tales. The reason I write this post, is to find people like us in the UK, with the intention of creating a meeting place somewhere for us all to get together and talk. I would LOVE to meet everybody on here, but it's virtually impossible, as we all live so far apart. I have been all over the internet, trying to find a group in the UK that can meet up to discuss our feelings and beliefs and share our stories together, but to no avail. I feel it's the only way to stop feeling so alone, ‘homeless’ and out of sync with life - to know that I can sit and talk with people like myself and all of you. No-one that doesn't understand or feel the same way as us will ever be able to communicate with us as we so desperately want and need to. I’m tired of keeping this stuff to myself because no-one I know will take me seriously. I NEED to talk and share my thoughts, feelings and experiences with anyone that is the same – I’m tired of being on my own all the time and feeling like I’m an outcast that will be ostracised by declaring what I truly believe and know. Please can someone point me in the right direction on how to initiate these meetings? I’m getting to the end of my rope now – like a pressure cooker waiting to explode! Thanks for reading this and good luck to you all...

Wow - that's how I feel too. I don't feel I belong to the human species, and that's because I also feel really ashamed to belong to a species that commits such evil, who likes to dominate and control animals - I am sickened by animal abuse. Humans love violence. I feel my true home is with my animal friends and it's a place of peace, not a place with people who enjoy violence, I can relate to some of the other responses here - I don't feel close to people and i don't feel I belong. I never thought other people felt like that too but decided to google it just to see if anything came up.

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I was going to write the way I feel, but no need to now. You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I recently joined a bowling league, not into karate. I have always felt not human, like I don't belong here. I don't have much memories of my childhood. I've seen my share of ufos, and can spend hours on end staring at the stars. Now I don't feel so alone in this world. I'be been married now for 20 yrs, have two excellent children. But still don't feel like I belong. Thank you for making me feel better.

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I can't seem to find the group, it says content is currently unavailable. If you look up Kelli Klaben (Joon Pearl). Just add me as a friend.

You haven't got your Facebook set for adding friends Kelli. I've pm you on here so you can add me instead.

Hello friend, I just wanted to say that I can completely emphathise with the way you feel.

From a very young age, I've had a huge fascination with stars and planets and the feeling of wanting 'to go home'. I feel very much alien from the people around me, like somehow we are just not operating on the same frequency and I find it very hard to get close to most humans. I think most of my friends somehow get the feeling that I'm different from most of them...

So what I wanted to say is that you don't feel so hopeless my friend! There are many of our kind out there. I'm sure your soul made the conscious decision to come to Earth for a higher purpose and it is up to you to discover it before you can truly go back home :)

Until then, don't feel discouraged! Always remember that you come from a higher place and thay you are certain to return home one day :)

Love and light always,
Charis

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I have felt the exact same way my intire life.

Wow. I never realise that others could feel like me. Like you. I feel better now

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I have felt the same way since I was a child. I was always the quiet one, observing people around me and how they react to things being told them, their facial expressions and their body language. Most of all, I'm always able to feel their energy and I am very sensitive to changes in the area I'm in and the people around me.

I also love to be alone and I love to sleep. Ever since I was a child, sleeping allowed me to escape and I'd find myself some where else. I have had past family members visit me and people I never met before, visit me in my sleep to pass messages to the people they cared for.

I was told that my purpose here on earth is to be a warrior of some sort. I am still unclear what I have to do, but I know it involves helping people.

I have felt that I am a visitor here for quite some time... in fact, I have come to terms with accepting this as the truth.

I also have a strong love for all animals and can't stand hearing of any animal abuse. I also have a hard time understanding why people hurt one another and I become overwhelmed when watching the News and hearing of all the pain that people inflict on each other.

So Insanityynk, You are NOT alone . There are many of us alike.

I am 16 and i feel the same, exactly 90 percent we are same.

i feel the same way. I hate humanity. The id system is slavery.We are treated like cattle. I say the hell with humanity.

I am in my early 50s and have felt like this most my life. I am now developing illnesses that doctors are stumped on. This is accompanied by depression and a feeling of what is this all about. My depression is based on the feeling that I don't belong and need to move on; I observe others and find them shallow and asleep; I ong to meet others my age like me.

I didn't realise just how many of us are out there. This day has become my revelation day, by reading such similar (if not the same) stories. Like you, cj, I have illnesses that leave the medics frowning. I had a VERY high tumour marker level around seven years ago and was told that they were watching to see when it became necessary for me to have treatment. Over the next six months, these marker levels gradually reduced back to normal and the doctors told me that that was impossible - no-one has ever been know to 'recover' from such a high level without intensive treatment. What do they think I did? I am 60 in six months time and yet I still have the 'same' hair as when I was a child - sleek, glossy and auburn. Not a single sign of a grey hair, thinning or any other sign of it ageing. I have several small bones in my body that are not present in others. A different shape torso, facial bones and extremely low blood pressure and temperature levels that are 'normal' for me. I once had such a low blood pressure when I was ill a few years ago, that I was hospitalised and my relatives told that my organs should be shutting down at those levels and yet, I only felt slightly 'under the weather' and recovered in a couple of days. I'm sorry, I've gone on a bit, haven't I? I have so many similar stories to tell, but won't bore you all now. I'm just so excited to find I'm not the only one. Thank you for helping to make my day! PS I'm English, so my spelling will probably look a little odd to what you're used to..

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We are everywhere, as earth is running past it's germination, the seed has just sprouted. Earth is growing and radiating gamma and ether energies.
Some reasons say that we are here to help the human race pass through the transformation of 3rd dimensional relativity. Into 5th dimensional relativity.
The awakening.
Some star seeds or extra dimensional beings, according to scientists, remember more of where they have come from and why.
There is a human soul and non-Han soul.
Earth is a baby, it has only lived for 'nearly four seconds' in relativity, in comparison to the next mega, star system.

I love this thread. I too feel this way. I'll be 30 in a few months. This feeling is something that's lived with me for as long as I can remember. I've been told I'm a light worker. I am still trying to understand what this all means. I've always felt outcasted and alone. I've always felt like I belong else where. I too believe this isn't my home. How do you get past the feeling? What do you do to cope with the confusion? I'm obsessed with star gazing and I can stare at the moon for hours. I can sit at the river for hours just shuffling through random rocks and stones. I am drawn to crystals. Energies hit me on a higher frequency then anyone I know. I'm overly sensitive and empathetic to the earth and creatures of the earth. Humans confuse me and break my heart with the decisions they make.

I don't know my parents. I was raised in the system. Bounced from home to home growing up. I can't bond with others how I want to. I always have a wall up of some sort. I love either too much or too little. I've had visions, spoken to loved ones through dreams, seen oars around people's crowns, and seen and felt a presence around me on a regular basis. This just started last year and everyday more and more things come into my mind. Things I can't explain nor control. Things that make me confused because I don't know what it means. I just KNOW I'm not from here. This is a waiting period.

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I'm a 38 yr old male with pretty much many of the same feelings you have.Ever since I can remember I always felt I was a visitor on this planet and I'm actually from out there in the dark stary sky.
I come from great parents , have plenty of friends.Ive always has ease making friends and work colleagues,but prefer being alone outside of work.Its hard to explain and frankly Ive stopped searching for answers to that question.

I also have a huge affinity for machines of any kind.I can fix or modify them with extreme ease,and understand there inner workings with limited research.I also look in awe at pictures/drawings/movies of large space ships.Almost as if I've been on many and miss the feeling?!? I know I can't explain it?

Long story short I feel sad for humanity and they way it's going in society? Almost disgusted on how we treat people animals and nature! If this is a test we are failing, I hope I get to go home soon

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Look up the writings and theories of Dolores Cannon, everyone. You all seem to fit her description of the Indigo children, the second wave of volunteers, pure souls, who came to Earth to help humanity ascend into the 5th dimension.

I've been having a tough year, and I'm really happy to read your post as I feel the same on so many levels. All my life I've struggled with trying to fit in with humans, yes, I always thought of myself as disconnected from the human species and couldn't understand why, I thought I was crazy. I always wondered when I would get to leave here and return home.

I've also struggled with thoughts of killing myself, or begging for release. They are always random, they are never in reaction to something bad happening, and I've also never been depressed. I tried saving my little cousin in a pool once, he had swum to the deep end and kept thrashing about. I swam over and he started climbing on me. It was a while before people took notice, and as I lay floating there in the bottom of the pool, body numb, I actually felt relief because I would be released from this body and this life. I was a young kid too, maybe ten. That moment in my life is the most peaceful I've ever felt. But someone saved me. This past year I've had very intense dreams that are all connected to each other. The first, I was viewing the entire universe. A faceless voice showed me earth, then zoomed to another planet, where he said "this is where you're from." I woke up and dismissed it, just thought it was cool. Then I had a second dream where I was on a mission on this planet, and I had limited time to save something or someone. I eventually made it to an alien looking creature birthing babies, in a warped tree. I had one last dream, a couple weeks ago, where I had found a mirror, and realized it was a portal into another dimension. I had a mission on the other dimension. Right before I put my arm through, I'm pretty sure I started lucid dreaming and knew that if I went through, my body would be an empty shell and I would remain in a coma here on Earth, and that there might be no coming back. I started going through, and woke myself up before I went through entirely. I'm also a painting major in college, who can't seem to stop painting shiny floors or walls, anything that looks like a portal. I feel like I've been searching for a way to get back to wherever I'm from. I have been at unease and shaken ever since, which lead me to research Dolores Cannon. Hope this helps, and nice to meet you. Cai

Wow!! This is amazing that you have taken these feelings and asked about them instead of keep them inside. I can say I really agree with you. I am I tuned to the world around me but I don't really feel the say way that most humans do. I have found myself questioning my existence since the age of 4 and I'm stuck Becuase I don't know what to do. I am glad I came across this forum. I was showered with this immense amount or sorrow and sadness Becuase of all the bad things that happen to animals and the environment around me. Also I just feel like I don't belone and that this life or the life I'm living is a fasod. As I am now 18 and having these feeling more than ever I honestly don't know what to do and would like some support

Jasmine

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I am completely dumbfounded! I am 40 yrs old and everything you have stated here is exactly how I have felt my entire life! WOW!!!! I have told people over and over throughout my life that I am ashamed to be a human, I have no idea what I am doing here surrounded by all these people that I cannot relate to in ANY way, I think differently, feel differently, I am not motivated by the same things....I feel a closeness to nature that I have NEVER felt for another human being. I love, no, I need to be alone, it is when I truely happy. I can feel vibes coming off of people around me, which are usually in direct opposition to what they are saying and it is very frustrating to feel everything so deeply. I have always believed that I do belong here, this is my home, but everyone else are from somewhere else, they seem like fake imposters to me....I have been looking for my "kind" since I can remember, even my earliest memories as a baby, I knew I was different and things here just seemed wrong to me. I feel the most lonely when I am with others and I feel calm and comforted when I am alone. I am not sure what to think about reading this and finding out there are others like me, it's what I've wanted my whole life, and now I am just dumbfounded and don't know where to go from here. I guess I had just accepted that I was different, and was not gonna find someone like me, and now wham!

Omg , i cant actually believe this , I was searching on the internet ' how to know if I'm from another planet ' and I came across this , you're exactly like me , it's like I was the one writing this , I have a really huge fascination for forests and stars , every time I feel stressed I just lay down and stare for hours thinking about getting out of here , I'm a nature person , im always the one protecting the animals and insects everyone wants to kill , I find humans so weird , I can't relate to them , only a few that are kinda like me , but still , I'm always the one giving them advice about what they should and shouldn't do , it's almost like I can predict the future , because it always turns out that what I think that would happen , actually happens. I don't need to study to have good grades , it almost comes out naturally . I spend most of my time analyzing people , I can tell exactly how they feel just by looking at them , and , I can tell how they feel towards me just by looking at them as well , I always felt like I was an outsider . I don't know . I can tell how someone's personality is without really knowing that person . Maybe I'm just weird . And I'm only also a teenage girl

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I know how you feel. And although I may not be exactly like you on some cases, we both urge to go back to our real homes. Sometimes, especially on some rainy days, I just have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to go back home. It once got to the point where I broke down crying in the middle of class at school one day (I'm a rather emotional person). I feel so helpless though, knowing that the chances of getting back are very slim.

OMG I cant believe I have actually come across this. I recently posted my own experience similar to this. I have suffered 35 years alone with this feeling and recently began to think, what if there are people like me outthere and just seen this. Wow!!!!

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I know how you feel. And I have a best friend that is the same way. We are bound to this world for reasons we haven't found yet.only the gods know why.

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we can all wright tons of messages about how we actually feel. But when i was reading your post i was feeling some kind of connection. If i could do a wish, i'd wish we could meet. I wanna know if we are the same as i think we are. Just think about how it would be to meet the people who feel exactly the same as you do. the connection there between everyone would be so strong. I cant even imagine.

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I have the same feeling! Wow everyday I;m wondering if someone out there in space will ever find me or take me home ? I have no idea what I'm supposed to do on this planet or how I ended up here. I always have some futuristic vision of Human life and yes it's human but in the future.

I too have no friends, well just few ones but they don't talk to me much, mostly of my friends are old people around their 60's already.

I thought I was the only one with this same feeling but I googled it and found lots more, it's great to see I'm not alone on this boring planet.
Maybe we all are some lost soul in space ? I don't know... I just know that I can't fit on this planet or simply don't belong here. Not Compatible with humans living here.

I've been wondering if God is real or not because on my previous life I remember there was nothing like "God" so I don't believe much on that stuff. And I've been trying Astral Project (out of body experience) to see if I could go to space and communicate with someone from my team or same specie as me but as far I know I have no idea where they're or how to go there :'(

I always felt like an abandoned soul from another planet on this Earth.

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This is so bizarre .. I never thought that there was anyone out there like me . I'm also drawn to fighting , and I excel in school with a 4.5 gpa .. Yeah I have friends & stuff , but I don't have anyone to relate to is . No matter where I go I always have this feeling of extreme longing to go home . Problem is I don't know where that is , or how to get there .. 😔

I am so pleased to find others out there who feel like this. For a long time I have this recurring thought "I want to go home". I feel it wherever I am, even when I'm already in my own house. I can never work out what I mean by "home", I just know that I'm never there and I so badly want to be. I feel lost. I don't have many friends, I've always struggled with relationships. I generally just don't like people, I feel different to everyone. I always have this feeling like something is just "wrong" here but I can't put my finger on it. I always feel like I'm crazy for feeling this way, so I don't speak about it to people. I'm just pleased to see I'm not the only one.

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It is because you are a spiritual being that needs to be one with yourself again. You will soon be surrounded by others like you. Its is the way the universe works . But staying home and daydreaming isnt going to help brethren .

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You are not an alien from outer space. There are several possibilities leading to such thoughts/feelings:
1. You are very observant of this existence.
2. The animal traits of human species have not adapted well in the civilized environment they created, therefore, there is a lot of the illogical behaviors manifested by them.
3. You are a loner type.
4. The phenomenon of reincarnation, difficult to prove albeit there are some evidence, may play a role.
5. The phenomenon of parapsychology or paranormal, again difficult prove albeit some evidence, may also play some role. You may look into these fields, but you need to find the right source. Dr. Claude Swanson's book "Synchronized Universe" could be a start.

With the greatest of respect, you are on the wrong page - in more than one sense of the word. You don't 'get it'. We're not saying anything like you're suggesting. We're talking of how we FEEL, not so much what we believe. That's the whole point.. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT WE ARE! That's why this page was started, to find others that feel that way too. And I'm afraid you're not one of them. If you were, you wouldn't have written the above. And by the way - who gave YOU the solid proof that you're right? I'd love to meet the guy and ask THEM a few questions! It's a feeling that you just don't understand or share..

I feel the SAME way..

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I often have a overwhelming feeling that I want to go home too...it's feels quite saddening...x

I'm 50 years old, female I feel the same way ever since I can remember, I've had dreams that I'm in a another planet earth like with two moons. I don't hang out with people much, I don't have Many Friends either it's hard to find someone that you can talk to that can understand how your feeling , and no I'm not depress either I love life, but I don't fit in this world, I to feel when am I going to go home and no I would never try to kill myself I just wish I knew what my purpose is. So your not alone. And not all of us are blond n blue eyes, I'm Puerto Rican , black hair and dark color eyes.

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This is also Me. It took me very long to understand myself. I even have written a book for that purpose, which it will be published soon. And even though it scares me to publish it, I still feel that I have to do it... I don't know why. Maybe it will help me find alike people... So, try to look within, what is you purpose? What do you want to do? I think that our purpose is to help this world, and the only way is by showing how they should live, not to live by their rules... We need to inspire them, not to let them drag us in their very selfish, materialistic world... Be yourself, you are not alone, you are just more awake than others. Show them who you are!

idk, i have always felt that most people were weird and strange to me, i remember that from when i was at least 4-5 my dreams largely consisted of me speaking to a young girl, of whom i could not see her face, but, while i can't deeply remember the conversations i know that they were important and deep. i don't know how long that lasted, maybe 2-3 years and then she said bye for good one night and we haven't talked since. i always felt that, while others might not consider that anything serious, being my age, she there for a reason, to guide me in some way or another back to a home i've never known on this earth. Most of the time when i try hard to remember those conversations i pull a blank, but it brings me to tears thinking she abandoned me, leaving me alone forever. while others might not feel this way, i do.

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You just perfectly described my life. It's like I'm reading something I wrote. Honestly it's hard to want to be here, I've spent my whole life analyzing, thinking, and observing. There are very few people around me that I can identify with and most people just don't get the information that I am trying to share with them. I try to remember that they are all on a journey of remembrance as well but most are just running in circles. Time is running out for humans to evolve to a civilized level. It scares me to think about how the world is being mismanaged in every possible way right now when there is so much potential for humans to evolve beyond all of the suffering. I've tried various methods of relating information to people but there is always a form of cognitive dissonance even by coming down to levels that they understand and guiding them towards logical conclusions instead of trying to force information. Of course some people are ready for this information but they are few and far between, leaving me feeling completely alienated from the rest of society at large. I've found the only way for me to deal with the anxiety and depression this creates is to write music or create art in any of its many forms. Maybe this can help you as well. The only other thing that helps me is knowing that there are other people and organizations that understand. The work that Peter Joseph and zeitgeist are doing is integral to survival for the human race. The most important thing is that we allow socioeconomic systems and the ideas that create them to be emergent and sustainable. All the problems we face can be solved by having a scientific world view and getting to the root causality of all of these problems. It also leads to the realization that everything is connected in infinite ways which would lead to a mass awakening on many levels. We are literally a part of everything I am another you, just imagine what that information, (if understood correctly) really means. That means that self interest suddenly becomes the interest of all. Anyways I'm rambling now so I should stop lol.

If you still check this site then please, please, e-mail me at belly.jessy@hotmail.co.uk. I am on a mision of sorts to gather people like us, others are on this same mission. Perhaps, we can group up into little groups and eventually combine into much bigger groups. Got to start somewhere. If we pool all of our intel, all our of analytical gatherings, all of our data, we must, must, must, be able to figure something out in relation to those... darker, deeper and more confusing questions.

i am similar but i dont feel it 24 7. had a tough time in school got bullied alot but now im 25, a songwriter with my girlfriend who is great and im really well respected for my music in my city altho i aint famous..yet!! i think theres a good chance we come from another place as our minds are so highly evolved but humans are now enslaved by money and power and most will never take the time to stop and think about the big picture.or maybe they dont have that ability.id say that we are 'deep thinkers' which is great but you cant dwell on it too much.it will only make life harder and unfortunately there is no way off this rock and there wont be one in our lifetime.we are intuitive people and it seems there is an army of us! be proud of it but dont let it take control,just relax and you will feel at home one day when youre older.trust me it gets better!i have found music has kept me alive up to now..youre probs an artistic type (naturally different/weird) so give something creative a go and you will find like minded people!

This explains me this is EXACTLY how I feel for the longest time we've felt homesick send us HOME!

I've read all these statements by people that feel exactly the same as I do. I have even commented on some of them. But when I came to yours, the few words that you managed to get into one sentence, screamed out more than all the others put together..
“for the longest time we've felt homesick - send us HOME!”

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you are a new child <3
http://www.starchildren.info/

I have dreams about my star family, they take me up to there ship, they are tall, have blond hair and blue eyes which are slightly larger than ours and there wrists are thinner.
When i wake from my dreams i miss them terribly and want to be with them. But i feel like i have chosen to be here as a human to raise the vibration and peoples awareness, so even though i miss my true home this is my home for now and this is my path.

You need to read up on starseeds. Please do. I want to go home too.

I feel the exact same way and I feel like everything has lost point, I can't even join coversations anymore I only observe and I can tell most people when they talk are setting themselves up for conflict and I want to leave and be with more people that get it. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

We are here. :) I almost cried when I read this, it's like reading my own journal. You are not alone. Don't forget this.

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Yea...I think there are many of us who are starting to remember our origin...I for one know for a fact...

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Oh my goodness, you are a starseed! I was just doing research on this and I came upon your story, I have your answer. Try learning about Starseed. I believe you have a connection to this.

You're right!!! I was thinking the exact same thing! I'm so glad to have read this. I almost cried reading her story.

Just find you, and you are not the only one. For years since I could remember as a child looked the starts with a feeling they left me here. And deep in me someone told me to wait. I am here to see something. Still waiting , when I was a child I could remember places clearly, strange language wich o still remember few, writings , when I started school I was giving a book talking about cuneiform writing and to my surprise all the letter I wrote , leaving them in places outdoor for "them" to find was really close, when I turn 10 I started to forget a sadness came to me because I knew, my memories were leaving me and someone was always close to me I name her NiN. She even told me her name , was her to protect me and care for me until 10. Years old. I feel so alone , I can interact with the wold, people parents always afraid someone would find my truth

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I feel it as well. My mind never stops. Its like I'm constantly calculating the out come of everything around me. Always thinking up contraptions i could build with my busy life style i never get around to doing. I feel like the world i was brought up to live in is a lie and I'm here to do something but I dont know what it is. I'm still waiting to know. One day it will be my day.

You are not alone.

I feel like I am different than everyone around me. ever since I was a child I have been curious, looking around at social interactions between my family members their friends and their families and wondering why I could never find or be a part of that feeling, that feeling of bliss and security. I'm often alone because of this fact. I wander through my thoughts and truly find that I m forever searching 4 a place where I can be myself and not be judged but celebrated and loved for who I am. I'm 25 years old and the one person who truly loved me is gone and even he could not understand me but has protected me and loved me as his kin. I feel so trapped in this society where people are forevre mmultiplying and I just can't shake the feeling that I am here on this earth 2 Trenton whatever it is that has weakened me but I feel like I'm in the wrong place my emotions are so strong for people and its just never returned. It's more like there is an interference between me and the human race. No matter how hard I try to do good, I feel like I am a burden I am A space of energy in this world. I don't know why I am here. I don't know what my next move should be and if that move will finally make me feel whole. I feel like I will always feel alone and unprotected by anyone anymore. Where is this journey supposed to take me? Is this a fate that I have brought on myself?

strengthen not Trenton lol sorry

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