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I Don't Belong On This Planet And I'm Waiting To Go Home

For as long as I can remember, I've always felt homesick no matter where I was. I always knew home wasn't here on Earth. Even as a child I'd watch people, how they interact with each other, examine their features, their behaviors, and I've wondered why I'm so different, why I don't even feel human. I act as human-like as possible, but everything I do is very different from everyone else. When I'm in physical pain, which has to be very strong because I'm very resistant, I laugh. Emotional pain, I numb all emotions.
I always want to be alone. I'm usually in my room, reading, writing, sleeping, gaming. Or at the library, where not even my parents can bother me. I have many friends, I just usually hang out with them at school, and I tend to come up with excuses to not hang out after school, because I'd much rather feel alone. But I think it's because I'm really not alone at all - I feel like there's always someone, one of my kind, with me in my heart. However, I still have the need to find my own kind physically.
I've always had an extreme fascination with the stars. I can spend hours and hours just staring off into them, admiring their beauty. When I do this it comforts me. I don't feel so alone in this world. But I scan the stars, like I'm searching for home, but I've forgotten exactly where it's at. I often get these extreme urges to go home. Lately they've been stronger than ever. I want to go back home, where I belong.
I have always been very mature for my age, but this isn't exactly a good thing. I have trouble with making friends. I am very intelligent, and often find myself correcting my instructors and teachers, but I don't always apply myself because my mind is always off elsewhere, exploring my own interests.
I also don't get close to people easily. I'm only close to two people, and I only love four. I don't really like people too much. But I'm very loving towards nature. Now, I'm not a tree hugger or anything, but any abuse to animals or plants gets me angry and I feel even more ashamed of humans. I'm a fighter, not a lover. I love to fight - but it competition. I'm the only female in my martial arts class, as I have been for two years. I fight against older men in their twenties, thirties, and forties, and I'm in my early teens. Many people find this odd, but I have an extreme attraction to fighting, and I think there may be a purpose for that.
I feel emotions that I know many people have never felt before. I can tell exactly what someone is feeling by just looking at them - they can have a huge smile on their face, but inside I know they're unhappy. It's vice-versa for others. I can also tell nearly exactly what someone is thinking, or what they're going to say before they open their mouths, by looking at them and/or feeling the energy they're giving off.
If a UFO or strange aircraft landed before me, I'd be the one to run right to it. I've seen two strange aircraft near my home before. They both occurred at night. The first time, I followed it into a pasture, but then something told me to run away. I hesitated, but I ran away. The second time I chased it and chased it until it disappeared. I wish I would've continued to chase it though... I want to go home...
I don't feel human. I don't belong on this Earth. I don't know my purpose for being here, and I know I have one. But I want to find my purpose so I can leave as soon as possible. I want to go home. If anyone feels this way, I'm begging you to message me... I want to go home, I need to find my own kind..
Insanityynk Insanityynk 13-15, F 38 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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Oh,wow I feel like I just read my own thoughts. Everything you said is so me.......<3

One percent of all human beings act primarily out of Inventor Instinct.
We are born that way.

Perhaps the reason why we don't feel like we belong, is because there are so few of us, and we rarely meet others who also act primarily out of Inventor Instinct.

We are literally surrounded by billions of people who do not think or act like we do, or see the things that we see. Everyone around us is acting primarily out of Warrior or Nurturing or Gathering or Worker Instincts. This overwhelming imbalance of Instincts makes us stick out like sore thumbs.

Of course we feel like we don't belong!

But, if we vocalize our feelings we are ridiculed by those who act out of Warrior Instinct, and shamed by those who act out of Nurturing Instinct. And none of them understand us. This just serves to reaffirm our feelings that we don't belong.

Acting primarily out of Inventor Instinct does not mean that we invent things.

It means that we see the biggest picture of all eight of the instincts.

And the big picture sucks.
And we are acutely aware of it every day of our lives.

Most of the advancements we have made, as a species, have come from people who act primarily out of Inventor Instinct. Being able to see the bigger picture allows us to dream and imagine, which often turns into new inventions. It is the one Instinct that fosters creativity.

We could do well in school but we see no point. We are brighter and quicker than those around us, but we are bored and uninspired by our teachers. We see unfairness all around us, and ignorance and waste. If we have any encouragement or support from those around us, we can invent amazing things. If we feel no support, but only ridicule, rejection and scorn, then we just give up. We may come to realize that nothing we do matters because when we die it's over, and we are just marking time here. Many of us contemplate suicide because to live like this grows more and more intolerable every day.

If you have ever felt like this,
if you feel like this all the time, just remember:
- You are not clinically depressed
- You are not from another planet
- You are not defective
- You are not alone

You are one of the one percent of human beings that acts primarily out of Inventor Instinct.
You are normal.

You are the reason I joined this. I have never read something like this that hasn't come from my own private writing. I think I'm remembering my purpose here.

I have been feeling this way so long. I laughed particularly hard when you said you laugh at pain ME TOO. I choose to be alone to get my energy back. Being around people after a while drains my energy and i end up harming them when I am sent to help them. Ive seen it happen and i swore never to do so again. Family complains that I am always locked away but its necessary to bring light instead of anxiety. I wish they would stop coming in my dreams though, it makes me sad and extra home sick, I can spend ages just checking the sky day or night. Sometimes I want to go home other times I get the feeling i volunteered to come and teach so I have to honour that obligation, they will come for me when I have done my duty or am too tired to continue.

I am the exact same. I am constantly told its "aspergers" but I know I'm different.

I have never belonged anywhere or with any group, not even my family. I have always been quiet and different. People don't understand me. I've been repeatedly told that I'm unusual looking and beautiful, even by complete strangers. People stare at me a lot. I feel things intensely and have a lot of compassion. I think people pick up on my energy and that's why they notice me so much. Sometimes I don't feel human. Like I don't belong in my skin. As if I'm just mimicking humans or something. While writing this though I realized something. I'm taking an abnormal psychology course and we recently covered dissociative disorders. A controversial up-and-coming disorder is chronic day dreaming. A symptom of dissociative disorders is where you can't connect with your identity or your reality. Chronic day dreaming can lead to these symptoms. I vividly day dream a lot and always have; it's inherently a part of my personality. Maybe that's why I feel this way. On another note, many people feel like their searching for something and they try to fill that hole with what they think their looking for (ex: money, love, wisdom). Mine is love, I guess you could say that I'm waiting for someone. Everybody has that one thing that drives them and maybe yours is finding a home. A lot of people feel like this isn't there home and that they don't belong with humanity. That's basically the driving force of Christianity: "Do not let your hearts be troubled.... My Father’s house has many rooms... I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am... I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you... Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14). Jesus said that earth is not our home and that it is not a safe place. A few of my family members have seen bright lights at night including myself. I don't know what they are but I wouldn't chase them because what if your confused and they're not what you think they are. Maybe that was angel persuading you to leave that one night because you were in danger. I've gotten that feeling before while I was alone and outside at night: like my skin was jumping off me. Even if the lights are harmless, the real world is still dangerous. By the way, being a christian has completely changed my life. I may not belong on earth, but at least I never walk alone, God is always with me. I have found a home in myself with God, it's like an inner light. No matter my circumstances (sleep deprivation, depression, etc.) I am always satisfied because I have God and what more do I truly need? If your feeling this way, maybe should check out the bible. You might find the answers your looking for. By the way, some people think Jesus was an alien and I think it's possible.

You are not alone and I think that happens to be the one thing that we are forgetting. Although we might be scattered upon this rock to teach these savages to be conscious beings, to be non reactive, to be civilized, to respect the gifts that they have been given; we are not alone.

Your post is exactly how I feel. I have nothing in common with anyone that I have ever met. The only two people with whom I share any type of connection is with two of my cousins. According to my mother and his mother, with one of them, I share a very special connection.

Ever since we were children everyone has always confused him for me and me for him. Keep in mind, that to both of us we do not look alike. Looking back at childhood pictures, we look nothing alike. Yet, as a child, I would walk down the streets of the town where he lived and people would think that I was him. When together, people would think that we were twins. There is a reason for that. We have the same radiant energy.

It has to do with a UFO encounter that both his mother and my mother had when they were in their 20's. It happened on my grandparents farm. According to them, that's when we were both created. Both married men, but we are not their sons. It is a long story.

My entire life I have had UFO experiences. At our last home I had an encounter that my partner does not remember but his aunt does. In fact, two days after I told him his aunt told him about the same experience with the same craft and the same beings. She is also very special.

I too am a fighter but I am exhausted. I want to go home so bad because I know that this is not home. I have always known that this is not home. I am now contacted almost every week while in bed. I am awoken by a very bright white light shining above my head. Last time I heard a man's voice talking to me and asking me questions; he was trying to console me because they are aware that I am ready to go home. This started in November of 2013.

The things that I see on a daily basis should not be seen by anyone or anything. There is so much negativity here and the humans - the 100% humans - channel so much of it. They thrive on it. They refuse to learn. I feel so bad for the planet and the animals that suffer at the hands of these savages.

Hi there! Don't lose hope you are not alone. You will alway feel homesick but try to remember that you are not here but random chance. This planet is very challenging and it is hard to find our place in it (not that we want to). Try to remember your mission, you are here for a reason. All the answers are within you. Like I said this the earth is very challenging because all the negativity but like you said you are a fighter.
Love you my celestial sibling!

i feel the same way!!!!! I am so happy i am not the only one that thinks like that :)

I liked this :)

omg! I love you.. lol I can not agree more, I relate to this so much.. it just blows me away. You're not alone<3

I am speechless, i mean somehow i managed to know project i am assigned.We all are here on mission. I am assisting humans here and i am on my mission with all love and support of universe.
But i don't know how i reached here and saw your message.You made me remind of my homies i don't know where they are.They must be waiting for their soldier son to return home. You are not alone i am with you and so our whole team.We are together.Lets finish it and get back home.
My love and hugs to you.

If you ever find a way to go home, take me. It doesn't matter how much it costs, or who I will leave behind, I just want to go out to the stars, to where my heart belongs.

Nothing I've ever read has hit home with me more than this. It seems as every sentence I read was coming out of my own pen. Wow.... I'm just so.....completely thrilled that I'm not alone with these thoughts and feelings. I mean everything from the stars to feeling people's energies and emotions..even the fighting. If you figure out where we need to go please let me know. I would gladly walk with my people if only I could find them.

I'm not reading all that

I dont know who you are, but when I read this, I felt as if I was writing it myself.

I convinced myself I was insane before reading all these comments and questions. I just want to thank the author and all the comments for showing me I am not alone. I cried after seeing this. This Internet post (although I don't appreciate the Internet in itself) has changed my perspective. thank you:)
- Molly Reid (age:13/January/15/2014)

Oh I stumbled upon this page and in so glad that I did. I am 28; will be 29 next month and for as long as I can remember, which is back to when I was 2... Yes two is when my actual memories begin my family has always thought I was a freak of nature because I can recall things vividly from my toddler years. Anyways I have always found myself alone. Often for hours at a time just thinking; searching my mind trying my hardest to remember. What I am trying to remember is I believe the truth. I feel that everything we are taught is based upon a lie maybe not on purpose but a lie all the same. The lie of religion, the lie of gender, the lie of purpose, the lie of life. Nothing reduced down to its simplest form seems to make sense. And frankly I feel like I'm going insane trying to remember the truth. It's one of those things where you know u know something but you just forgot; it is very frustrating and in turns I often become furious and scream and yell at the stars/heavens I feel that there are always observers and I get so angry that they won't just tell us, just drop a better hint. Then I think maybe we are being punished for something like perhaps we are in a time out. I have visions about 8 times a year that always for tell danger either for a loved one or some times on a larger scale like the nation. They always come with enough time to basically change the bad outcome but if the correct path isn't chosen the horrible thing always happens identical to my dream. I always feel almost completely split by humanity I don't feel like I'm apart of it half of my feels deep pity and the other half hates humanity for their sheer stupidity! It's like if humans weren't so stupid this world would be a wonderful place to be; this world is perfect. Sometimes I feel humans are like a virus. I don't know I'm just rambling now; I suppose it just feels good to get this out. I've never told anyone all of this. I am a female and I have an executive position at a law firm many would probably think I was insane if they knew I wrote this. Well all I know is we are not alone we are not crazy we will one day find the truth we seek. I hope everyone reading this stays strong and hopeful.

I feel the same way. I'm going to be 26 soon, I used to think it was just a phase when I was younger, but lately I've been feeling like this more and more intensely. I feel so lost. I don't feel human or like I belong here. I'm always telling people I'm an alien in a joking manner. I've always been different. I don't belong anywhere. It's so lonely. The isolation drives me into deep depression. I have a lot of hatred for the human species for destroying this beautiful planet. The only place I feel is 'real' is nature. The part where you say resonates with me the most- "Often for hours at a time just thinking; searching my mind trying my hardest to remember. What I am trying to remember is I believe the truth. I feel that everything we are taught is based upon a lie.." I feel like there's something I'm supposed to know, but it's missing, like something erased my mind. It's driving me crazy. I hope for at least some sign from somewhere about why I'm here and what is my purpose, if any. Indeed I believe most of this world is based upon lies and brainwashing, ruled by the greedy elite.

I always feel watched, like no joke, ALWAYS. When I was little, I used to make up outlandish explanations about why I felt watched. I contemplate deep things a lot. Always have, people think I'm weird because I'm so quite and completely contained. My family struggles with facial communications because it doesn't come naturally and we're so quite. People find it highly intimidating but that could also be our limbal rings. My mom and I look elusive and superior, my dad looks quietly aggressive, my sister looks like she wants to shank someone, and my brother looks rigid. People misinterpret our facial expressions and feel uncomfortable. Back to what I was talking about though: I used to walk around the playground at recess and just think about things, starting in kindergarten. I've told people that I was thinking about the meaning of life before when they've asked. I have an obsessive desire to find the meaning in EVERYTHING. That's were I get my kicks, thinking deeply about things. That's why I love the book Ecclesiastes (which is odd for my age) because it's one big rant on how meaningless life is: " “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.” I ate it up, from beginning to end. It was so relieving to here my desperation put into words by another. From what you've posted, I think you might like the book. Also, a lot of people think they have memories of before they were born. When you wrote that you were trying to remember the truth, it made me think of Jesus. He said "I am the way and the truth and the life" (John 14:6). Also, it's written: "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" (Jeremiah 33:3) and "But if not, then listen to me; be silent, and I will teach you wisdom" (Job 33:33). If your looking for answers about meaning, start with the bible. I know this sounds strange but I think I was meant to respond to your post. I was looking up the last two scriptures for a different blog on this website (noticing the number 33 all the time) and I came across your response. It just so happened that these two scriptures tied in with what you wrote. That's just weird but I hope this helps and maybe even makes a difference in your life. Maybe God is reaching out to you and you only have to meet him half way: "GOD met me more than halfway; he freed me from my anxious fears. When I was desperate, I called out, and GOD got me out of a tight spot. Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see—how good GOD is" (Psalms 34).

I know exactly how you feel. Reading this made me feel so much better, I feel less alone now.

You are not alone.

Hi!
I feel quite the same about this world. I'm always in a constant struggle with people not understanding me or understanding what's right and I just want to shout at them mentally at times, as wierd as that sounds...

Anyway, I remember waking up one day as a child (very young around age 2-3) but I woke up not remembering anything prior to that morning. I felt lost and as my parents told me to eat my apple it was as if it were the first thing I tasted. That morning was so odd, because I felt like I wasn't myself. This event has stuck with me my whole life. I'm not extremely intelligent, nor do I think I 'know' more than others, instead I 'feel' more than others. Your (and others) descriptions of being able to see right through people is so clear to me. I feel the same way and sometimes I have an inexplicably strong emotion for someone I never met, often times its hatred :/

But overall, I've always loved looking at the stars. Wanting to fly to any of the locations and just leave, it was easier to make this a reality as I was younger due to better imagination and lack of societal bindings. I always wanted to explore and being exposed to more and more sci fi and space discoveries it's becoming more and more of a dream to me. But obviously it isn't possible during my lifetime and I've always felt a hole in that ambition, a missing link.

But I don't think ever questioned my existence as a human, just the reason I'm down here and not up there. I speculate over these things everyday and all I want to do is pursue them, but the thing that has satisfied me for this long is music. Music is the best thing that ever happened to me, it makes me feel emotions stronger than anything before, second only to human shortcomings as a species. Human history fills me with suh hatred because it's our own failure and ignorance that holds us back but it's an endless cycle and that's what keeps us from public contact with anything out there. Being the person I am I can be violent, but I feel like I would truly just want to come in peace to any foreign life because we're strangers and judgement is something that only exists for the primitive, we all judge but it becomes less of an existing concept to me everyday.

Anyway, I just wanted to agree with you and show you all my support and if given the chance to experience a life out there I'd take it. I don't want to be naive as I have a great life down here on earth, but I'm always Unsatisfied, I thirst for knowledge. I want to know everything my little brain can comprehend and contain. I always felt I was different. That I was one of a kind, that no one could quite get me and that I understood more than others on an incomprehensible basis. Well good luck and I hope that we all get a taste of the universe if there's a next life

Same here,seeing and watching them made me to hate,i am not from here too and my mom went with me at doctor to see if i am or not a lunatic... Humanity is too stupid... I mostly hide myself under a mask,i am cute in human body but i hate humans... They are sooo disgusting... I'm waiting to go home too... I feel so... Different and the humans take me as danger or else... Sometimes i wonder why i'm here... In this sadist world... And believe me,i understand you at all,bro.

Just remember that you, in another life, volunteered to come to this life. You, as well as the rest of us, are here for a reason.

Maybe, but I don't know the reason. What's the point of being here if you don't?

This can't just be some kind of coincidence..

I feel different other
than ,i feel that
something is hidden and
i am here to find that in
earth... At night i like to
see high up in the sky
that makes me feel
better and i feel thereis
something hiding frm
me , this feeling is only
to me or other too feel
this help me ,and
what's this feeling ?

Hi there, not sure what you name is but mine is Steve. I don't know if you still read these responses but you should. Let me first say that I'm a regular 22 year old guy, I don't usually go onto these kind of sites. I'm into sports, movies, cars and regular things that guys like, and I have lots of friends. However, since I was young, my mother and friends have always told me there's something different about me; an energy they could not quite place.

Since I was a child I have looked at the stars and wondered. I have always felt homesick (no I don't not suffer from depression, I'm a happy child :) Since I grew up I was always observing people; I had an innate ability to detect peoples feelings and read them easily. I have always felt more intellectual and wiser than my friends; yet even from my family and friends I've always felt disconnected, an emotion that carries on even today.

I don't know what it is, but I have always felt disconnected from humanity. Its as if I shouldn't be here, that my life has a higher purpose than making money, getting married and having children. I always looked at the stars and thought I belong out there; as if my real home is somewhere out there. I thought I was the only one; I realised I wasn't. I have come to the conclusion that because of the sheer number of people that are having these experiences, something is not right. There is something powerful people are not telling us and it is hurting us more than helping us. So, don't feel alone. I did too. But, your NOT alone. More and more people are feeling this way everyday. Don't despair, the truth will out.

home is inside of you, even if you are really not from earth still your reall home is your soul

When i read this i cried literally, everything you've typed reflects my life, i feel strange, homesick to be precise. Ive recently turned 18 and im too a girl. Where i live we hardly have any stars and it makes me upset. The only thing that motivates ne to live longe is the moon, it may be crazy to you but its all i have. I believe we are sent here for a purpose, now its just finding out what. Im glad i read this as much as im dwelling i thank you.

I feel the same about the moon!

HI MY NAME IS CARL AND I UNDER STAND HOW YOU FEEL
I AM 49YEARS OLD AN I HAVE BEEN FEELING THE SAM FOR YEARS
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS IT BUT I FEEL IN SIDE AS MY MUM AND DAD IS NOT
MY REAL MUM AND DAD AND I JUST WANT TO GO BACK HOME TOO

WHEN I TELL PEOPLE THEY THINK I AM MAD ..
SO I NOT TALK TO PEOPLE ANY MORE

I empathise with you - for 54 years I have felt the same. With the passing of time the feeling has only become stronger. Still waiting! We must do what we can to complete whatever purpose we have here. In this world where life and nature is taken too much for granted, and greed is as a religion for some - Dare to be different, be strong until the waiting is over. We care!

yes you are here. no you cant leave. you are here for a purpose, we all were sent here for a purpose, complete your task and know that you cant take your body with you.. remember you are far from alone. we are the children of the indigo. and we have been sent here to harmonize the earth. love and peace to all of you. find love for yourself in and of itself, find the light inside yourself that society has worked so hard to hide from you, trust your harts let it Gide you to were you need to be.. REMEMBER only you know if you are in the right spot, feel were you belong and prepare, for the task you have are many, just know this gift would not have been bestowed on you if you did not have the will to carry out your task,

Who are? I want more info. Help please. I'm at my whits end.