Feeling like you don't belong in society is the worst feeling.
Yourfavnextdoor Yourfavnextdoor
18-21, F
2 Responses May 18, 2015

I found this ask.fm that seems to help people with advice. I just thought I should tell people. www.ask.fm/StepIntoMyOffice

That's what you say now but you will soon realize it's the best feeling. Belonging to the majority out there .... they can be so unkind, scared but phony, - you will find your own reasons why you will think it is the best feeling not to belong. "Belonging" can mean adjusting your integrity, your personal essence, and pretending to have fun when you are really not. Eventually you might belong to a group of those who are similar. But even then it is belonging to an activity not necessarily "for good".

I belonged to practicing Native American spirituality - many years of many activities; I belonged to Habit for Humanity when building a house for someone for a day; I belonged to an art class; I belonged to going out and dancing; I belonged to bike rides; I belonged to a college, a degree focus, a job and those I worked with; I belonged to a day hike; I belonged to the book(s) I was reading and connecting to the author, the story and others that read the book too; I belong to the dog park when I go with my dog; I belong to this website; I belong to my garden (no people but storied can be shared with others who also belong to their garden)..... it's really endless how many times we can feel we belong for various timeframes.

You do belong! Maybe just not to the everyday get a soda and chat about zip. I always looked at it as a personal choice. Is there something in this situation that strikes a chord, that feels good that I want to be there and share part of myself.

p.s. I never smiled much either... I was somewhat lonely and depressed. When I did because I wanted to, people would think I was fun, I realized I was fun at times. You will smile when you are where you feel like smiling and there is no reason to smile if you don't feel it. It makes other people uncomfortable - and that's their problem not yours. Unless you are in customer service and it is for them.

I had a job where it was required that we smile all day and be exceptionally pleasant. I made my cheeks sore. But I started forgetting about it. People loved it and they thought I was this wonderful person (I am and you are, but not the way they thought so). It made their day and it gets returned and people start opening up and feeling safe and being friendly. Which can make your day too. But the funny thing was one day I forgot to drop the smile when I left work and I was at the store and people were looking at me and wondering why I was smiling "at them". LOL

I realized "oh" I am still smiling.

It can be a psych experiment - just smile non stop for a day and see what happens, especially around people you don't know real well. Your close relatives might think you are crazy or that you had good sex and worry about you.