I Have Lost MyselfI used to be different. I didn't care what others think about me. I was happy yet very shy.
It seems that now every day I am becoming a different person- I don't smile and laugh that much- what makes me sad is that I don't smile at all some days.
I don't know what changed me and I cant tell when this happened. But it's been like this for over a year now and I feel that Im completley lost in my thoughts.
What makes me miserable is that- not only im runing my life now- im ruining the life of my parents and friends. I dont know who i am anymore. I don't talk to people who i love.
I have never had many friends. But i love those who i have. But now it seems that some of them don't know me anymore.
I hate that im jealous that someone is lucky but I am not. I should be happy about it.
Im not outgoing though i want to be. Sometimes i just sit in my room all day and do nothing. I want to make new friends, explore the world, learn new things. I usually say that to myself but thatts the end of it. I don't have the courage to start new things. Im afraid of everything new. I like to look in the past and see my mistakes and that meks me make new ones. I hate the person I am now. I dont know how to change and what to do.