Lost Connection

I have suffered from high levels of tension in my muscles for years but about 5 years ago I started getting the tension so bad in my neck that is was making my jaw ache and give my continuous tension headaches. I knew what the problem was: I was some how (subconsciously) tensing up these muscles and never allowing them to let go! I was grinding my teeth at night to so the dentist gave me a gum shield and this helped - even without going to sleep - cos I could bite down on it and this would prevent me from tensing muscles without them doing nothing...

Then the penny dropped. I was having a smoke of skunk (something I rarely do cos it disturbs my mental state too much) and I found the connection that I had lost all those years back; I felt who I was. This is going to sound mad and it's far to complex for me to put into the english language right now but, it was like I wasn't understanding the connection that I should have between my spirit and my body. I knew how to move and how to do things but I let my mind wonder so much that I actually lost touch with not reality as such (cos I wasn't/am not mad! - mentally) but, I lost the connection so didn't fully understand what I was doing and how I was doing it.

My theory is, about the human-being: we are bio-machines and our brain is the computer that's programmed to run everything but what works the computer is the spirit; the spirit is there regardless of the body and it will only manage to work our brain, to run our body by understanding what is going on. I could get very complex here and would like to but until I find someone who would take me seriously enough to fully appreciate what I'm saying, so that we could discuss this, I'll leave it there.

I have only just realised/opened my eyes to this enlightenment and although it feels good, I know that I need to have plenty of patients and with time I will be able to analyse more and with this grow a better understanding of the developments and finally, of myself.

Just to add I don't see this as a religious affair although I am a Methodist (but not a bible-bashing nut-job). I see my Christianity as a good aspect of mine and my son's life and something which I would like to carry on to the end of my days. But do I believe that God made "everything" and most of the other stories that have come from our Bible? I'm gonna have to say no to that. Do I believe that there's a God? I believe almost anything IS possible; I believe God - believing in God that is - is a good thing (it feels right and has shown me that good can come from it) and so would have to say yes. I thought I would add this just incase someone/people start hitting me with "you have found God!" or "Jesus is now in your life, son!" I just thought I would show you that I'm not a nut-job but just a "normal" person with good beliefs and an honest nature.

I hope I have helped someone by you reading this and if you do want to discuss anything then please, I would be happy for you to email me.


Ps. I'm dyslexic so if there are some typos this would be the reason why. Thank you.
peterrory peterrory
31-35, M
May 25, 2011