Lost In College

Im a junior in college, studying as a history major with a minor in psych and secondary education. I plan on being a high school history teacher . That wasn't the original plan I started school as a psychology major after a doctorate but then decided that it would take to much energy so teaching would be easier. This semester I'm taking 16 hours and i just CAN'T bring myself to do anything! This isn't a new developement, I've always been this way and while I have never liked it I have never hated it enough to do anything else. I just dont care. I tell myself "I'm going to study today" or "im going to volunteer this weekend" or "I'm gonna read that chapter" but i never do. I've never had to put any extra effort so i dont even know how. I've never studied and i graduated with a 4.0g.p.a I barely study now and the lowest i have had is a 3.0 everyone thinks i'm a dedicated student but i'm not at all- i get by with the bare minimum that's required of me and thats all. I just don't care and i'm not interested in doing anything better then i am right now. This hasnt worried me until recently because soon enough im gonna be out of school trying to become a teacher and i dont even want to do that and everything i want to do i pass by because i dont want to do an interview or join a club to meet people or spend more money chasing something that i might not want to do later. Im scared that i'm going to let go of myself and go no where but i cant bring myself to get active and start caring about anything enough to fix it. Whats wrong with me?! Its sooo irritating!

firefly21 firefly21
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 16, 2009

it sounds like you might be depressed. I'm going through the same stuff. I have no motivation and i hate it, but that doesn't stop me from getting by with least energy output possible. Force yourself to seek out more positive things in your life. Find friends who are ambitious and who get you. You have to force yourself to do these things and then you'll find something that will kindle your interest, it's only a matter of time. Baby steps. The worst thing you can do is sit around and feel sorry for yourself, so don't do it. I know i do it too much.