There Is No Choice.

I can not cry or stay in bed. I can not scream or hide my head. I have a son, he's three years old. And in his eyes, all can be told. The hurt and pain I can not hide, even though I keep it all inside. My son is bright and strong and sweet, he worries so when he sees me weep. His dad is gone, we used to be three. But now it's down to him and me. Dad thought he found a better way, but now he's lost wandering each day. No longer does his daddy see. He dad now uses Methamphetamines. My son is confused, it can not be! What is much more important than him and me? We don't see daddy. They don't have fun. No longer do they play in the sun. So I am strong, I am the one, who drys his tears when the day is done. I hold him close, tuck him in at night. I  kiss his head so he has no fright. My son is strong, and so am I... I wait till he's asleep, and then I cry.

NoWhereToGoButUp NoWhereToGoButUp
36-40, F
4 Responses Mar 10, 2010

Maybe easier said than done but forget about what is no longer thinking about you or your child. Dont let them take up space in your brain. Your child needs you and you need you. Be kind to you. Look after you.

Whatever the case may be take time to heal and deal with it. Being totally there for you child is one of the biggest gifts you can give your child. Sure you may have anger and resentment at having to do it all but be proud of yourself that your sticking to your commitment to see your child through.

It's better to move on then dwell on. I'm sure your son will appreciate all that you do for him and probably keeps you going. When you say you cry, are you grieving the loss of what you had or grieving over what you dont have and need in your life

Thanks Painter.