I Resent the &^% Out of My Husband...

I've been married for almost 9 years.  I have a daughter who is 7 1/2 and the light of my life.

BUT... I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of responsibility.  My husband functions on the same level as a 5 year old.  He does VERY little to help out at home.  If I pile laundry in his footpath to take to the laundry room, he walks around it.  When the furnance went out, I had to handle it - whenever there is a crisis or something needs to be addressed - he does NOTHING.

I work as many hours as he does, I make as much money but yet he expects me to be a traditional "wife" and quite frankly - I'M FED UP WITH IT.  I take our daughter to school in the morning, I pick her up, I clean the house, I do the laundry, I do the shopping, etc... the list goes on and on and quite frankly I am unable to think of ONE thing he does other than contribute a paycheck and pay for the health insurance...

I was at the brink of divorce last Fall but am trying to keep it together for my daughter.  I know, that sounds bad... I KNOW that you don't stay together for the kids, well, I know that in theory... but I also worry about the impact it would have on her if I left.  She has no clue I am full of resentment.  He will try to make an effort (after I have a complete meltdown) but he never keeps up with his efforts.  I can't RELY on him.  He'll take out the trash, when he remembers or feels like or when its convienent - it spilling over onto the kitchen floor doesn't seem to trigger any sense of urgency in him.

I also cannot stand his manipulative mother.  She's as bad as him.  In her Mid 50's acting like she's in her 20's.  She thinks its "cute" and makes her "her". She refuses to grow up.  I hate for my daughter to be around her because she trashy as hell and has horrible judgement.  She's a diabetic (as is my spouse) who doesn't take care of herself - but yet everyone gets mad at me when I show concern about my daughter being in her care.   We had family plans for a weekend this month and she called up my husband told him that HE NEEDED to go to a wedding (that I had declined the invitation to) so what does my husband do?  He cancels our family plan and does as his mother says... The list of things about her that I cannot cope with anymore is endless...

Oh... I could go on and on... WHY is EVERYTHING MY RESPONSIBILITY?  Why do I have to do all the work?  Why is it that he "gets" to do nothing?  "I'm a procrastinator, I can't help it" is a steaming pile of &^% to me. 

Does anyone else resent the &^%$ out of their husband?  He's EXACTLY like having another child.  (And he wonders why I won't have another)...  I can't be SuperMom, SuperWife and SuperEmployee...

gwenevere gwenevere
36-40, F
1 Response May 7, 2007

OMG you are me in like 5 years. Check out the experience group "i hate my mother in law" - it's a nice group of people and another great place to vent and get some feedback. and i totally know what you mean about him being a child and not pulling his weight. <br />
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He doesn't have a job - i do. When i leave in the morning there's a pile of dishes in the sink, i ask him to move them into the dishwasher and run it. I get back over 9 hours later and the dishes are still in the sink. i go to put them in the dish washer and then *I* get yelled at for doing it when he "was going to do it...what does it matter when i do it as long as it gets done?" I swear to God if I don't do something it just doens't happen. he has no sense of urgency either - not even about finding work.<br />
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I hope once he recovers from the surgery he will have the motivation to move forward with his life. <br />
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I know a lot of our problems stem from him being unemployed but i just feel like i have to do everything if i want to done right or at all and i'm ******* exhausted! The least he could do is move the dishes an extra 18" over into the dishwasher or at least make me feel like i'm a priority - like his partner, instead of his sounding board and rag doll.