Alchohol Is Bad For Depression

i had a drinking problem in highschool (who diddnt?) but my problem was a bit more severe than most i fell because i would go to the extent of stealing from family and friends to support my alchoholism to the point that i was drunk every day from my 15th birthday until the day i turned 20 and enlisted in the military. things seemed to be going well i was 1 week away from getting my stripes and i was discharged from service for "flat feet" because "they cause non-fixable stress fractures in the hips" when i came home i felt like i had failed, about a year after i came home i met a girl that i fell in love with. we were together for a year and a half when we found out she was pregnant she made it 6 months and miscarried, i went to the bar and began drinking myself into a stupor. when i could no longer stand i stumbled home and started it all over again the next day starting with 3 shots of any liqour i could get my hands on at 7am when i woke up. i still drink every day because i feel like it numbs the pain. and i feel like if i am not intoxicated i may do something regretable (scuicide or assaulting random people). i feel very stuck and i cannot seem to pull myself out of this pit.
Bocks Bocks
22-25, M
Feb 26, 2012