Never The Same.

all the time i am deppressed.
i feel my chest closing in.
i feel feint
time slows down.
i wanna die.. nothing matters...
i feel numb but i would crave pain.

i have written poetry for the discription so here:



I Have to go somewhere

to escape this crazy mess

people think there's perfect

on the contrary for them its only an illusion of the mind

along that boundary there's no such thing as normal

but its funner to think there is

even though all it does is make life seem so tragic

now here i want to escape this

the shades of gray

and some black

and white

but i wanna be gone by the end of the night

yet as it may be alas i cannot

but the tree out front

is where i have my thoughts to forget

but here i am typing this down before all of them are quickly to be forgot

but alas i cannot escape

saying anywhere i go,

there will always be trouble

mischief

and horror to be witnessed

scarred forever

try as i might only gone just for a temporary night.

next poem..

 I never Felt that before it all seemed so blank

to taste some bland

and yet only to see plain

yet knowing these and  lots more

but i choose to not complain

because last time i did all i felt was pain

nothing to conceal it

its my greatest fear

but all i ask is that i dont dissapear

well i hope that gives insight to what i feel..
Jinx3scape Jinx3scape
22-25, F
6 Responses Nov 8, 2010

Same Here.. and yes i know the feeling, and i know the only thing in life that is ever guaranteed is death we are never promised to live for long. if you wanna chat Message me. Ps. My Name is Willow not Jinx :)

I wish you had happiness and the meaning you long for. Walking zombie....that is a feeling i know....and happiness being taken from you like the light from our lives. Death doesnt bother me because there is nothing in life i want."another day another eternity away from you and im trying to strike a deal with god. I've nothing to offer but i beg and plead.I dont care the cost just bring me back to her. I've asked for death i've asked for life i've rephrased my request thousands of times....and i hear my echo coming back alone"I would love to continue talking with you Jinx

i feel the need to die cause of the fact life feels dull and plain with no point in it . and anytime i reach a bit of happiness it is gone in a instant.i do not believe in love , i don't need religion saying there are no answers to them. i prefer quiet logic over naive company. yet i am accident prone i feint easily and my knee will collapse under that too. I i witness around me is death .. i am part psychic but i also have schizophrenia. i battle both of them . and all i know is that the only thing in life that's guaranteed is death. so as you said, i feel all reason is gone. i know people would mind if i did but it is true i just don't. but suicide isn't an option. the only choice is to be a walking zombie and suffer though this.<br />
even if there is no end.

out of curiosity why do you feel the ned to die. my reason is i truly feel like my reason for life is gone...i have nothing to live for so i drone on day by day living only because im still bind here physically.

another poem.. french and english..<br />
ife is begining to look like nothing<br />
the sun can shine but i am blind<br />
the birds can sing but i am deaf<br />
at this stage of insomnia i am oblivious<br />
wake me when this nightmare ends<br />
<br />
<br />
or la vie commence à regarder comme rien que<br />
le soleil peut briller mais je suis aveugle<br />
les oiseaux peux chanter mais je suis sourd<br />
à cette étape de l'insomnie je suis inconscient<br />
me réveille quand ce cauchemar finit

Yup just how i feel i have sinned i tried suicide 4 times, pills knives and jumping of a building. i dont deserve to walk the earth i feel like crap ! :(