The World's End Is My Beginning

All my life I've been haunted with this intense feeling like I don't belong anywhere. There have been brief times when I found a slight niche, and I felt in place, but those were short lived, and I always regress to the feeling that there is no place for me on this earth.
Sure, I have friends who I care for, and I have a perfectly normal family. To those around me I am perfectly well adjusted, but this is only because I have become adept at faking it.
I often get the sense that I was born in the wrong I would've been better off had I been born 500 years ago, or maybe 500 years in the future.
Modern society bothers me, and I'm bored beyond belief of the every day drag of going to work to earn money, so I can buy stuff I don't really need, so I can feel better about how boring life is. I have so much more to say on this subject, but maybe some other time.
The gist of it is that I'm not satisfied with this life, and it feels to me like sooner or later this world is going to undergo a drastic change...something along the lines of a global apocalyptic event. When this happens, I think I will be more in my element, and I will find life more interesting, and I can't help but think that somehow I will play an important part in what is to follow this event.
Now, being of rational mind, I can see how this could be seen as crazy talk, and believe me, I have often thought that myself, but a person can't change the way they feel deep down.
Maybe this is a common feeling among people?
Well, I guess this is just about the best way to find out.
TCat TCat
26-30, M
2 Responses Jun 8, 2007

I think it's just tough being a human, in general. The generation might be the influence but it's not the problem or solution. Not belonging, yearning for a higher cause might be the journey within itself.

I feel that way too most shows itself in my itchy feet and never finishing most things i start. I went to the university..graduated..left home..moved to a different city...started working..resigned...started learning french..stopped my classes...upped and moved from my country to a country i didn't know anyone in ... went back to school.Still in school...thinking of moving to a different state...thinking now that i should quit conventional school and go to a cosmetology school. This is something i've always wanted to but felt i should get a basic education first. i'm also scared to find that i won't like it there either.if that happens.Then,just where do i fit in??