I Will Never Be Good Enough For Myself

When I was young, i was the happiest girl around. I appreaciate life, see all the good things, smile when the sun warms my skin with its rays but now, it is nothing but a blurred memory at the back of my mind. I can't remember when this self-loathing starts but i am sure it has been with me like a second skin for a very loooong time now.

I always have this voice in my head.
me : what a pretty dress!
voice in my head : Don't even think of trying it what more buying it, you'll ruin the dress. It's only for pretty people!

This voice never leaves me, it's part of me! I hated myself. Not just my looks, but every single thing about me. The way I speak, the way i act around people, how stupid and careless i am, how slow for me to catch up, how indecisive i am...the list is endless. With this much hate towards myself, i will never ever expect anyone to like me...