A Let Down

ive alwa knew i wasnt the smartest in the 5th grade my teacher had told me i was on a lower level than everyone else she done this by using her hands to say your on a level down here and everyone else is on a level up here it hurt me so bad that she had said that to me in front of the whole class from then on i was so shy to talk to anyone express my feelings i just became a loner i didnt try to pay attention my whole time in school i just sat there never talking never doing a thing not causeing problems for teacher or anything i was just there i ate my lunch in the bath rooms my entire high school years all because of some teacher putting me down i wasted what was suppose to be the best years of my life cause she made me feel like crap and so dumb and now my daughter is getting older and in school and i dont know anything about school i cant even divide i dont know history or science and again i beginning to feel like crap how am i going to help my daughter with her work when im so dumb and cant even help myself what am i suppose to do i wanna go back to school but im 25 now and i had quit school at 16 cause i was just so ashamed with how dumb .. and i so scared that if i go back to ged and take classes another teacher is gonna put me down in front of everyone and it scares me so much i want my daughter to proud of her mom and not think im dumb i dont want to think im dumb i just dont know what to do now and the online schools cost so much money money that i could never spend on myself for school ugh i just dont know
cracker5381 cracker5381
3 Responses May 24, 2012

Give it your best shot. It seems so sad that none of your later teachers bothered to check in on you, but students like you are often more talented than you believe. It is a great idea to want new skills and knowledge, because in the long run, those will help to prepare your daughter for the future. Best wishes!

You articulated all of that very well. You don't seem to be dumb, but scarred from this one experience and insecure. Don't worry what anyone else thinks. Let us know what your next step is, I think you should just read as much as you can, there's lots and lots of free info online. Just have to believe in what you're doing. Learn for the sake of learning and feeling fulfilled, not for the sake of proving anything to anyone else. We know you got it in you. Shows on your post. Go get it, all that knowledge is waiting for you.

I dropped out at 13 in the 5th grade. I did not take learning seriously as I quickly married a d ha a family and thought being a wide and mother is all I need to be. I finally realized my decisions were wrong . I started and quit GED school3 times before I completed it in 2010. Now I am inquiring a local community college and I am so scared that I will not grasp the first class and I will be a failure for the rest of my life . I do know that I am going to change my attitude and jump in there and give it all I got . Don't let that teacher ruin the rest of your life . You deserve to give this to yourself !