Last year on my 12th birthday, I went for a walk in the forest near my house. A reddish brown wolf came up to me and I stayed very still. He sniffed me and then howled. A pack of 17 excluding the male appeared from the bushes. I felt as if they were welcoming me. I own 3 dogs and have fought them all raising myself as their alpha. They follow me everywhere. I realized my dogs are not huskies...they were wolves. When I got them I found them abandoned in the forest as puppies. I was their alpha. Was this their pack I asked myself. I got on my knees so I was the male's height and he nuzzled me. I guess he was the alpha male. I was shocked. Did that mean I was his mate? My mom named me Lupa because I snarled and growled when I felt threatedned and I have wolf eyes. They are yellow gold. I feel like I'm stuck in a human body. I drive myself crazy! I always wish I was with my mate and pack. Obviously I haven't mated with him and I never will but I feel like I almost love him. I call him Lakota. I imagine my wolf form is black with gold eyes because I have hair that feels like wolf fur and it's black. I think I'm going to go insane out of longing for that wolf body. All I wish is that maybe if I die I'll return as a wolf. I know suicide is out of the question though. Like if I do that I won't return. I go in the forest everyday and I dropped out of public school to get homeschooled. Every moment I can I'm in the forest. I have slept out there with the pack many times and have gone on hunts using a bow and some arrows. Im still learning. Lakota sleeps with me in my house when I dont sleep out there. My mom doesnt like this but if she interferes Lakota growls at her. She leaves them be because if she doent it would break my heart. Thank you for listening,
Ciota Ciota
13-15, F
9 Responses Jul 9, 2012

Guys what if we are werewolfs?

I feel like part of myself is wolf as well. I don't know if is just because I love wolves, or maybe it's memories and feelings from a past life I don't know. But whenever I think or the word WOLF my heart feels with longing and sadness as if apart of me is trapped.

I think that's an amazing story

I have known my wolf part for 43 years. I was 7 when he first began letting me feel his presence. I go on a regular basis to the woods to let him out so he can get carried away in the wonderful smells and run free and howl as loud as he wants. When life gets busy and I ignore him then he gets pretty restless and can make me feel trapped. I have learned to listen to him and give him what he needs because, after all, his wisdom has helped me alot in my life.

I'm going to a place called wolf ridge tomorrow it a nature reserve / resort/learning/ native American has so much to do your a year older then me if only I could bring you :(

I'm going to a place called wolf ridge tomorrow it a nature reserve / resort/learning/ native American has so much to do your a year older then me if only I could bring you :(

Something that helped me escape from that prison-like feeling is meditation. Just imagine you're in your very own, thick forest. And visualize yourself as you, in your wolf form. And go about on your wolf life in that little world. It helped me a lot, and I hope it works for you.<br />
I hope you find your escape.<br />

Thats Amazing and sad and i can't imagen what this would feel like i always imagen being free in the forest and not to worry about anything i think a lot of people feel trap

This very beautiful & sad. I know your feeling of being trapped & wanting out, I know you will get there someday, plus remember you are not the only one with the same dream & feeling, if you want a fellow wolf to talk to just ask<br />
<br />
-Akhai<br />
Wolves as one pack alpha male

I think some people will believe this was just a dream but it's not. It is very real. If it was a dream then I'm living that dream everyday and writig this is part of that dream. Thank you for your support.