Post

Being Pestered

My Dreams are not my dreams. They are affecting my life in ways that I didn't think were possible.I need to know why every night no matter what I try to do, I go to sleep and dream THE DREAM different scenes from different times, in varying over and what not. Why won't they leave me alone I've tried everything. Can someone please help?
lollysmiles30 lollysmiles30 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

Your Response

Cancel

is dream keeps getting layered more and more. I'm in high school, and I'm in my chemistry ap class, there is only ten of us, ( like a normal school day) but then Daniel, this guy I've know for years comes up and wraps his arms around my waist, and I didn't freak out. Dan isn't the most touchy person so I don't get why he would randomly just come up and hug me. I start to ask him why when he puts his face against my neck and kisses my pulse point. It seems normal and no one is freaking out but me. Then everyone goes in for a group hug. They start telling me how they couldn't have passed the exam (which is in May and were are in January) without me. Then everything disappears and I'm in a home and it feels like my home. It felt so real. Dan comes up behind me does the same thing he did above and tells me since I got home later than him that he'll make dinner for us. (I'm not dating Daniel, we're friends is what I keep telling myself), and then I get all happy because the babies in the rocker just woke up. I pick them up and kiss their foreheads. Dan walks back in and asks me how my day was. We talked for a bit about my research and his booming pharmaceutical business. Then we put the babies to sleep and went into "our" room and cuddled. I felt so loved and adored. The I wake up. That was day one.
Day 2: It all goes the same and then Daniel, though I keep referring to him as Dan in my dream ( in real life no one and I mean no one is allowed to call him that), then I wake up the next "morning" to the smell of coffee, I groan and open my eyes to see him there with my favorite cup and berries ( my usually breakfast) I lean into his chest while we eat and talk and then I hear the babies cry. I kiss his check and tell him to go get ready. He gives me a cheeky smile and winks. I go grab the babies and change them, get their bottles ready etc. I take them downstairs and not to long after Daniel comes down. I wink at him and then turn so that I can grab the burp rag. He takes it from me along with the baby I was about to burp and places a hard kiss on the side of my neck. I mumble no fair.
Day 3: It starts out the same as Day 1 and continues into Day 2... Fast-forward and we're in our 50's and we're outside sipping coffee looking at out grand-kids run around.

THEN
Daniel was sitting in front of me at the park where we first met. We were about 20 and fresh out of med school. We talked about all the memories the park held. It was spring so all of the flowers were in full bloom and there were cherokee roses every where. I was so happy because they're my favorite. We were running through the field adjacent to the park and he lays out a blanket and puts the picnic basket off to the side so we could grab it later to eat. He lies down on his back and I cuddle up to his chest, snuggling in because it's still nippy outside. We start talking about all the things that have happened in the park. Our first kiss over under the tree at the entrance on the South Side. Our first date on christmas eve Night on the North Side. Our first year anniversary date on the East Side.
I look up at him and I ask him, " Love have we done anything on this side?" He laughs and says no but we are now. I give him a funny look and suddenly he rolls me over on my back and pins my hands above my head. He smirks down at me and then gives me a light kiss. He then gets up and orders me to close my eyes because he has a surprise. I roll my eyes but shut them just to make him happy. Right after I close them I exclaim, "The hardships I go through for the man I love." Throwing a cheeky smile in his direction. He laughs,but somethings off he sounds nervous.
He starts, " I love you always and forever, you know that right?" I said obviously Dan or I wouldn't have stayed with you all these years." he replies, "Okay then open your eyes."
I see the last thing I was expecting, Dan was on one knee in front of my holding out a box with a ring inside of it.
"Love, I've been with you these last four years, the best four years of my life, but I want more. I want to have little babies that have you adorable nose and bright eyes. I want a home with you full of love and laughter. I want to come home every night and see you and hold you and tell you that I love you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want so much more with you and the only way I'm going to get it is to ask you this. Will you marry me?"
I tackle him to the ground covering him with kisses repeating yes yes of course yes.
Then I wake up
THEN
So after the day in the dream of my Daniel came home from his pharmaceutical business and I from my research. We were working on the protein code that could lead to the cause of neurological cancer. He the cure and I the protein that caused the tumors. He was stressed out and he had sent the babies (whom I vaguely remember calling elvira and Michael) to him mums and we were supposed to have a quite anniversary dinner at home. I left work early to make dinner and make sure everything was special. Apparently since the babies were born we hadn't had time for each other. When Daniel walks through the door I go to give him a kiss. He pushes me away. I'm slightly offended but I don't want that one act to ruin our night. He just walks into the living room turns on the television. No hello or how are you or I love you. I say loud enough for him to hear me, "I love you Daniel." he doesn't respond. I set the table and when I walk into the living room to tell him that dinner is ready, he rolls his eyes and glares at me telling me that he isn't in the mood for my nonsense and "I could care less for our beeping anniversary. You're fat and refuse to lose the weight, I don't want you in my life and marrying you was the biggest mistake of my life." My eyes water and I ask him what I did. He looks at me blankly and tells me that everything that I've done has brought this upon myself. He the proceeds to walk upstairs and walks into our room slamming the door behind him. Refusing to give in to the temptation to breakdown and cry, I walk up the stairs and slowly open the door. I walk up to the bed where the suitcase is lying and roughly pull his arm so that he's at least facing me, though he towers a great deal over me. I tell him brokenly, " All I want to know if anything we had was real. If you would just answer that then you can walk out that door and never come back just like you want. I'll sign the divorce papers and I'll even pay alimony for God's sake. But all you have to do is answer that one question and it'll be like me and the kids and our 10 years as a married couple (we looked to be about 30) never existed. You'll never have to see them again and never pay a penny in child support. Just please answer the question." tears are running down my cheeks as I look up to him praying that he'll change his mind. He looks at me coldly and tells me, " No, I went out with you in the beginning as a joke. Then I just couldn't find a way to break up with you. You're pathetic and nothing I've said to you these last 10 years and the 4 years of dating prior. I don't love you, I never have, never will." With that he zips up the suitcase and walks out of the room. A few minutes later I can hear the front door slam shut. At that sound I fall to the ground sobbing uncontrollably whimpering to my self "no no this can't be happening... no he promised no please God no I love him no no.." I crying myself to sleep the food remaining on the table with the candles lit my present for him lying on the coffee table.
Then in the dream world I'm suddenly an outsider. I see the clock strike midnight and the front door creaks open. A tear streaked Daniel walks through. He hesitantly walk into the foyer and fro there you can see the dining room. I see him gasp and his eyes start to water again. He's sees everything I had done to make the night special. He cleans up the cold food and the kitchen, a few tears escaping his weak hold on his emotions. He climbs up the stairs slowly making the creak and groan under his weight. I slowly follow but he can't see me. He pushes the bedroom door open and finds me broken on the ground in front of "our" bed. He lets out a small sob as he rushes over to me, changing me from my jeans and tee shirt into one of his old dress shirts that I love to sleep in because they look like dresses on me. He makes down the bed and lays me under the covers. Slowly wiping away the tear tracks on my face. He falls to his knees and starts to pray for my forgiveness and begs me, though he knows he'll get no reply, to forgive him and that what he said wasn't true. He collapses onto the floor and lies facing me crying himself to sleep.
Suddenly I'm back in my own body in the dream world and I wake up on the bed. I'm confused as I rub my face wondering why Dan isn't beside me. Then all the memories from last night come back to in one big rush. I start to cry again which wake Daniel up. He grabs me and I try to shove him away but he's too strong. He's mumbling into my hair how sorry he is and that he loves me with everything he has and that last night was just his stress at work talking. That's he's sorry he took his frustration out on me in all the wrong ways. That he doesn't expect me to forgive him and that he's a monster and I should hate him and find someone better. He keeps rambling on and I pull away wiping away his tears. I lean in and his him lightly to shut him up. I tell him, "I love you with everything I have to love a man. You hurt me something awful. It's not going to be easy to move on from here but we will." He looks at me and smiles slightly before kissing me harder and lightly pushing me back to the center of the bed.
Then I wake up in the real world.

THEN
I'm sitting our room and it seems like it was before we had the babies, I looked to be about 22. I was wearing one of Daniel's button ups and my long blonde hair was in a messy bun. I was sitting on my legs which were folded underneath me. I was sitting on the bed slightly leaning against the headboard reading War and Peace. I lightly put my glasses back up my nose and flipped the page of the book. The red light of the clock on Daniel's side of the bed reflected 10:00 PM onto the pure white bedding. I yawned and stretched hiking the shirt farther up my leg. Smiling to myself I heard the front door open and close quietly as if he thought I would be asleep. I hear him put his briefcase in the closet along with his coat. I slip out of the bed slowly, as not to make any noise, and tip toe around to make down the bed so that we don't sleep with the huge comforter and down covers again. He cracks the door open slowly, I start to hear the harsh wind beating the trees ferociously and the rain beating against the window. Daniel opens the door fully and suddenly all the lights go out and he chuckles saying I'm happy I missed that. There is a slight edge in his voice though. Then I remembered that Daniel was scared of storms. I personally love them and the soothing sound of it. I could tell he wanted to be strong. I called out Dan, can you see the bed? I'm on it... Come to me please? He slowly staggers over being ultra careful not to knock into any nonexistent objects. He's shaking slightly by the time he gets to me. I slowly grab his hands and put them on my hips so that he can see and feel that I'm there. I can finally make out his features due to the close proximity. He looks awful, and scared. I take off his tie and shirt while he slips off his slacks and shoes and socks. I pull him to the bed to me so that we can cuddle. His head over my heart to make sure that I'm still there. I run my fingers through his hair and tell him the story of how we fell in love and all the mishaps in between. He relaxes under my movements and I can hear his breathing slow down signaling that he's asleep. It's not how we usually fall asleep but for this moment it works. I'm happy he's home and safe with me. I mumble into his hair "you're always safe with me, love you." before I fall asleep I notice the red flashing of the clock. 01:00 AM
It's long I know!!! Thank-you

I would be glad to try, if you describe the dream. EP Mobile will not allow me to view replies, but tomorrow I am going to a cybercafé so I can do that.