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Family? What Family?

My family has been a big circus show since I can remember. My father is a struggling alcoholic and my mother is near drug addiction and both have a whole list of health issues. They've had marriage issues on and off since I was six, but in the past three years its become an increasingly difficult situation. Neither of them spends properly adding to our financial problems and both of them lead very difficult and troublesome lifestyles that they are unwilling to change.
My older brother is a phantom, living in our basement without a job, not going to school, not paying rent. He is the only decently healthy person in this family and I'm assuming his decent lifestyle is due to the fact that he's distanced himself from the family as a whole as much as possible. I don't know what happened, but ever since I was little he's segregated me personally and has not talked to me in over six years. We can't even make eye contact or be in the same room for very long and I have no idea why...
My older sister is just a sleeping and working machine. Her lifestyle is an endless cycle with a lack of any social life, our dog being her best friend. She has a list of health issues as well. Her lack of common sense makes her incredibly frustrating in short time. She does nothing to help with the family situation.
My younger sister is incapable of self sufficiency also lacking a lick of common sense. She has a social life, but with people you could call "the wrong crowd". Low self esteem. Babied while growing up, then extreme lack of parenting when she hit nine years old.
I feel helpless in this household where nothing changes, there's constant tension, my mother is always yelling and/or complaining about something. My siblings do not clean up after themselves and do not help with the family situation at all. Everybody in my household, myself included, my brother not, has an increasingly unacceptable lifestyle. I am trying to make individual efforts to helping myself, but I am unsure how to help my parents especially. Their marriage is falling apart and the family with it. I personally believe my father has gone from aggressor to victim in the situation and my mother from victim to aggressor. I cannot stand any of them and am always a millisecond away from screaming in anybody's face or simply punching it in... I feel my only option is to escape, but financially that's unlikely possible.
There is no family here only a gong show of anger, confusion, and distress.
Kriegerin Kriegerin 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7, 2013

Your Response


Craft an escape plan.
Work your plan.
Get out.

You can't fix people. You can allow people to use you as a tool to fix themselves. But they are the ones who have to do the work and make the changes.

Im younger. But im with you :( what i learned is to keep your head up. What doesnt kill you makes you stronger. Thats what my aunt taught me before she left

I guess so :[ it just gets really tiring after holding my head up for eight years...