So the last couple of years have been the worst of my life so far and I have noticed that even when I try and connect with people and be positive and joke, I'm still losing friends. When I say friends, I mean the friends I made in university, the ones who I grew really close to, the ones who said they were there to help me if I needed it. Only one of them had enough heart to come over for dinner on my birthday but everybody else told me they'd rather go to the gym or hang out with other people...
I'm trying to recover from alcohol abuse, domestic violence and forced marriage but how can I do that when people keep abandoning me? It hurts to know that I have been there for people but they couldn't care less about me and it makes me feel so alone in this makes me question whether or not if I would be missed...
PantheraTigrisDD PantheraTigrisDD
26-30, F
3 Responses Aug 16, 2014

it happens! smoke a joint!

Hey we all ask your last question. Being new in recovery may I suggest that you try and take one insult at a time. Recovery is,as you know, an inside job. Meaning for me that may I need an atititude adjustment. Sassoon......Did you get High with any of those former friends? Maybe they didn't come over because you no longer have anything in common----drugs. Are you new in recovery. If so may I suggest that there is a difference between being around a 12-step recovery program and being involved in one. If you think hitting a bottom with alcohol and drugs is just for people in cardboard boxes talk to Robin Williams,or any of the rock stars and movie stars who thought drugs could only enhance their talent. Most People who die from drug and alcohol abuse die in bedrooms of nice houses or in cars on nice highways. It's highly unusual for them to live long enough to get to a cardboard box.

Keep it Simple. You know how many nights a week you got high. We'll go to that many meetings. At the very least you'll find out what happens to people who don't make meetings. Good Luck in your recovery.

Thank you, I'm in recovery from alcohol abuse...all my old uni friends drink and seem to have control over it but it became an anaesthetic to me and made me feel normal after antidepressants messed me up badly...I'm starting a 12 week programme on Monday and have met some lovely people already in pre-treatment but I cannot help but miss my old friends from university and wish there were more people my age I could interact with...It's just heartbreaking to see them all fall away even when they themselves weren't out of control and it makes me angry...I feel angry that all their promises were completely fake and that at the end of the day, I am on this recovery journey alone and separated from them. I feel angry that for my first birthday away from home, only one of them could be bothered to come over and that after everything I have tried telling them, they still ignore much for finding friends for life at university!

Okay. Your allowed to feel angry. In fact it might be healthy for you. My sponsor told me anger is energy and to work it out any way I could.

I got sober at 27. I hated everybody and everything. Learning how to socially interact was a trip. I went from being a grabber at a table to an asker . Words like "Thank You" and "Please" part of a language spoken on a planet in some far way galaxy. There that's a very little about me.

In my experience resentment is the number one killer---and in my experience I have seen just that happen. Think of this for a moment. I have a choice. You have a choice. I can get pass out pee in my pants if I want. Yeah if I want. Well it took quite a few trips around the recovery merry go round before Johnnie tried to grab the golden ring. This was back in the day when if you didn't go to A.A. you just didn't go anywhere. Can you identify with no hope,despair. So what happens if I pick up today. I go back to all those friends who wanted me to hold their drugs cause I was sober know. All good friends want their friends to committ felonies for them. I go back to their laughing and belittling of my efforts at recovery. Because if I recover and I'm hanging out with them what does that say about their chemical induced view of reality?

I was so filled with fear in the beginning. I desperately wanted someone to be with me as I entered recovery. Sometimes I don't think it's my emotions that are screwed up it's the choices I make from them. I went up to my best get high friend and I guess I was just sounding a little bit too needy or righteous or a combination of the two. Well he taught me a very important lesson that day. He turned to me and he said "John get the "F" outta' my face" See without the drugs and alcohol that was the relationship.

What you have in front of you is scary. Anything new is scary. Remember your first day of school. Well did you learn to read and write on your own? No of course not. Well this is your first day of school. So your gonna' learn something new. That takes courage. I like being comfortable and BSing people. Well just like Kindergarden you'll find out that all that fear in front of you will disappear just like it did after your first day of school. This is about your life. My friends would always just tell me to have another hit. Wow that's a life sustaining answer. Dreams you can have them and if your willingness is up to it some of them will come true and what you learn from the efforts you make will give a quality of life to your other dreams that you have to experience not be told about. Recovery is an experience as real as getting high--or what's the point. Good Luck

oh thats really messed up. because this is the time you need ppl and trusted people the most. if you need a friend HMU anytime. my messages open

thank you, I don't know who you are or what your story is but that is very kind of you.