Waiting.

Looking back on it, I feel like I have been waiting for something most of my life. I am not really sure what this is, or what it might be. I do feel that it is bound up with my habit of starting out on a path but never taking more than a few halting steps.

Instead, I find myself walking the wrong paths, and it's amazing how easy it is to take great strides down roads that lead you away from what you truly desire.

It is tiring, in that it feels like some sort of deeply carved internal programming. Waiting for the unwaitable. What, after all, is there to wait for? This is life, here and now.

And yet...

Some things are not to be shaken by even the best reasoning or lesser enlightments.


TheTardyDodo TheTardyDodo
31-35, M
5 Responses Jun 10, 2007

I think we allow ourselves to be distracted from what we really desire rather than face a possible failure. We then have an excuse for not following the path we want. It's all a subconscious process, so it's difficult to see it happening.<br />
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Is there something lacking in your life you may be afraid to go after?

Very true, lucylee. But often easier said than done, of course.

You are the best TheTardyDodo.

Maybe there are no wrong paths, just different ones. It could be that you have to make the journey before you realise where you really want to go. Sometimes we have to take the bit and run with it - horseriding term.

fear or lack of ambition?