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Going No-where

All my life I've been encouraged to put others first. I used to have a hobby which I loved but which took up alot of time and money and confidence which I didn't have, so ended up putting it on hold until things got better. Well now I'm older, more comfortable with who I am, Learnt to drive, have a better paid job, but still my life is on hold as now I take care of my mom who is disabled. It feels like I'm never going to get to live the life I want or by the time I do I'll be too old to make much of it. Dont get me wrong, I love my mom but for once I want to feel like my needs are put first not some-body elses. I know my life is better than what some people endure but it doesn't mean I should not have a life to make up for it does it?

alfieandrosie alfieandrosie 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2009

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So well put about being your own person. It is true. We are not born to be the crutch to someone else but to live our lives and be happy. <br />
As for my sister, she is well off financially with a home, more then one car and a husband who is just a financially stable as herself. Since my mother chose her to be my mother's favorite and has done everything to ensure my sister's success sorry to say but my sister use be taking on all the responsibility (she does some things) because I need to take care of my own life now that the kids are grown and get back the financial security in my life I had before as well has having someone to share my life with. It is my turn now to live. I raised my children, did the corporate thing previously and would like to get back to that arena as I am studying Information Technology (my new direction) to secure my future and retirement.

Life really does suck. Sounds like your sister is more self centred than my ounger one. She says one thing but means another, so long as I'm looking after our mother and doing all the worrying is all fine by her. my older sister did help, but only as much as her selfish husband would allow, after all his mommy, who has a gazzilion other kids to help, must come first. Unfortunately my sister had colon cancer, and though she survived she is now heavily dependant on others herself, so it leaves me less support than when I last wrote this. <br />
I dont mind helping my mom, really, but its the complaining about how bad her life is, how bored she is as she cant get anywhere as walking is difficult. But I'd wish she'd remember I wasn't born to be her physical and emptional crutch, I was born to be my own person.<br />
One day I'm sure I'lll find a happy medium, a balance in my life that allows for both our lives to work together, I just hope I can survive emotionally to get there.

I know what you feel and I don't like it either. I have been helping my mother with paying her living expenses and trying to deal with my own expenses also. I tried to explore some of my hobbies being that my kids are all grown up now. When I did so my mother runs to my sisters about some of the hobbies I was pursuing, all hell broke lose. they came down on me about my hobbies and passions, they even came down on me about a relationship I used to have telling me I was not entitled to have one. Because of all this nonsense the person I was involved with left to pursue other options. I was so upset by this.<br />
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I am looking to break away from this situation because if I don't i will not have the happiness I deserve and live my life to the fullest.