Nearly Nonexistant Social Life

I'm 21 and a junior in college . At the moment, school is my social life.

Many of the friends I had before I don't talk to anymore. Our interest began to differ so we stopped hanging out. Some "friends" I've known for years only call me when they want something. They don't call me to go out or anything.

I have many friends at school. We talk about almost anything, we laugh, we have fun and we "click." However, when I leave school, the fun, the laughter and the "clicking" leaves also. We don't really talk or hang out outside of school. The occasional call or text is usually about something school related. Sometimes, I'm able to keep the chatting or the text going by asking about their day or telling them about my day. Usually, I look forward to school just for the interaction and socializing.

Aside from school, there's pretty much nothing else to my life. Once I get home, it's just the routine of surfing the internet, watching TV, listening to music and later on, going to bed. It's boring and I feel like life is just passing by while I'm doing nothing. I try not to think about it too much because in my opinion, it's really depressing. I would like for them to transition from "school friends" to "out-of-school friends." However, I don't get out much, and I don't party. I feel that if I do ask them to hang out with me, I wouldn't have any place to invite them to.

My life needs major adjustments.
MrShortStory MrShortStory
18-21, M
3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

I have been having the same experience myself. I am pretty in the same situation as you, I have left all my school friends in order to come to college in another country! Initially, I felt the same way, but there are always free events happening on campus. i used to go to these events, and tried to be noticed, and say hi to new people if possible. In the beginning, as a freshmen, I used to ask others if they were freshmen themselves, and I found that many of them were also looking for friends and people to hang out with. Well, that's what I did, I tried to study with them, I said hello when I passed by them, and I was sincerely interested in their life, rather than just "using" them for college assignments. Trust is a rare thing nowadays, and establishing trust is difficult, but once you show people that you are trustworthy,it is much much easier for them to open up for you. American society is pretty much getting more and more isolated, and people actually want to have trustworthy friends now more than ever, but don't have the courage to initiate the relationship. But once its initiated, there is a chance that you will become good friends.

Ooh, and another thing, good friendships take time too. In school, you got to know your friends by being with them for at least four years or more. But in college, you have comparatively less time to build such strong friendships. Nevertheless, find one or two people you really want to get to know, and slowly(don't be forceful) and gradually hang out with them, and ask them more and more about their experiences, and eventually you will also be familiar with their friends, and the friends of their friends.

Aside from all this, try to join student organisations which do activities that you know you will have fun doing. You will meet other people there, who like the activity just as much as you, and you have a common subject to initiate the conversation with. It's fun getting to know people, and knowing people will initiate your return to opportunities that may be right in front of you!

Good luck, and from a college kid to another college kid, it would great to hear about how you may have changed as a result of my post! =D

Cheers, bro!

Find something you have in common with them that isn't school related, go from there. Making a friend and out of school friend is finding interests that go beyond study buddy. Sort of like what bubbly is getting at, maybe a genre of film that you can appreciate together? Or gaming?

Something you are passionate about should be shared with your friends, that sort of feeling is usually contagious! :3

Well maybe you can ask them to hang out with you to places you like to go to like the movies or something and eventually they'll ask you to hang out somewhere with them