I Feel Like My Parents Don't Want Me Around

Unnecassary and Peircing Criticism .

By: lisarisamonalimkins

Written on August 29th, 2009

sometimes I feel like my parents dont want me around them any more . It feels really bad and I have been loved by them deeply , sometimes their love touches me and makes me feel like a slime for thinking such things . But it feels like they use me as a pet , someone they love and pet when they feel like it and the rest of the time kick it away . It is indeed like that . If they had really wanted me they would not criticise me all the time and say such soul peircing things . They would support me and console me . Why do they do this ? its an .. what to say ? dilemma . They always find something to scold me about , always say some really ****** things and hurt me to the soul . My dad sometimes hits me and when tears come out , he thretens to hit me more if a sound comes out . He pains me so much and sometimes , he takes care of me so nicely that it confuses me , wether to love him or hate him . My mother is a different case she screeches at me all the time .

I dont know how they find faults with me but they do and that makes me miserable . Ask both of them if there is anything good at me and they say we dont know . might be , we never noticed . How does that make me feel ? like a an unloved mistake they are forced to carry around .

I tried to take it positively . Thinking that they love me thats why they always keep pointig my mistake so that /I will become perfect but even my positive attitiude is fading . They fight in front of me on me , my mom says I have potential and my dad says I am wasted , and mentally unfit . It makes me want to go die in some rat hole . I feel like **** and they even point it out to me that I am the reason for their fight and I am the peace destroyer .

I hate this . If they never liked me and never want me around why the hell do they bear me in their house and why the ocaasional once in a sometime kindness ?

By: lisarisamonalimkins

Age: 16-17

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2 responses

lisarisamonalimkins

@ chickadeedee . I have ad heart to heart talks and that always leads back to this . My father becomes so angry that I feel like he may have a heart attack or something , the way his anger is directed . And my mother even says that I would be responsible if anything happened to him .

@miriamSpia . I know that feeling . Sometimes I am too cruel and hurtful too but lately I have kept that controlled . It really does take restraint to let yourself snap like that . I dont know why my parents act like that but I never do anything to intetinally irritate them . When I do I warn them from before that I mgiht do something somewhere . I try to be as ood as I can but I cant help it if I am stubborn than a mule and a black colt and a black shhep all rolled into one . I cant take that .

Aug 29, 2009
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MiriamSPia

I am sorry to hear that your parents are hurting your feelings with their inconsistent affection. You are not crazy for disliking it when they are cruel or much too rough with you. I can see how that makes you feel confused because if they were just kind all the time you would not be confused and if they were mean all the time then you would grow up and leave or consider running away or something.

It is normal for you to take what they say possibly too seriously - peoples children almost always do so. That can be good, when they are kind, but its bad when they are not. Also, you may not know it but you can easily hurt their feelings to. Many children don't realize that about their parents. Sometimes they might be having a really strong reaction to what you did. If you are abused that is not your fault but if you are naughty or intentionally do things you know they hate then they are liable to retaliate or to punish you in some way.

I agree that it is not okay for you to be abused, not even by your own parents. I am sorry you are feeling unloved.

I have had that problem myself during both my childhood and as an adult. i don't have that problem all of the time, but sometimes I do. As an adult, it is not always easy to control one's temper. Usually I do it well, but sometimes it takes a lot of self restraint for me personally to not hurt others. I can be very genrtle and kind but i do have it in me to very hurtful as well. I know that about myself.

Aug 29, 2009
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