My Stepmother Has Alienated My Father From Me
Hi there. I'm a 30-something motherless mother whose father remarried 2 years and 1 week after my mother had passed. Things were ok at first. I tried to ignore her annoying unsolicited advice, her incessant self-promotion, and the constant comparison about how her "nieces'" (really cousins') husbands are so successful...blah blah blah. I guess I ultimately had an adverse reaction to it all, and I wasn't so "welcoming" to her in return.
My first daughter was born about 9 months after they had married. It's been a complete nightmare for me. Not only have I lost my mother, but my father would only see my daughter and me for a few hours a week (and in hindsight, that was a lot). Since then, I had a second daughter. When I got pregnant the second time, my dad suggested that I have an abortion (because he didn't want to be bothered with another grandchild). Towards the end of my pregancy, the ceilings of my house needed to be painted, so I asked my dad if I could stay at their house with my older daughter. My dad told me no, and he said to a good family friend of ours who took me in that I should have stayed at a hotel. He and that long-time family friend are no longer speaking.
My stepmom then pulled out all the punches the week my second daughter was born. I was scheduled for a c-section, and she decided to invite her grandson to stay with her and my father for two weeks, completely encompassing the time that I would be delivering and be in a post-partum state. They said that they were going to bring her grandson to the delivery, and when I ob
That was over two years ago. Things got better for awhile. Then on Mother's Day 2009, in lieu of sending my stepmother a card, I called her (well, actually, I left a message with my dad). Apparently, that wasn't good enough, so in retaliation, he refused to spend Father's Day with me. It doesn't end there. The Jewish High Holidays were coming and they were leaving on a trip to China. I wanted to land a date with them for Rosh Hashanah, and when I asked him to commit, he said "I will tentatively accept your offer, but I reserve the right to cancel at any time." I screamed at him, and the conversation didn't end well. It's now December, and I've seen him twice (briefly) since he's been home from China (keep in mind that he only lives about 10 miles away from me). If I call to ask for plans, he says he'll get back to me, but he never does. There is no worse pain than being rejected by a parent; it hurts more than losing one to cancer, because in the latter case, you know your parent still loves you.