Like No One Cares

So here's the story - i'm 26 years old.  Lived on my own for 4 years in university and then had to move back home.  i met a guy...and i've moved out on my own with him. I have a twin sister, and an older brother.  I had an older sister that was killed in a car accident 8 years ago. anyways, typically in Eastern European households, the boy is held high in sight.  the parents might not see that they're doing this, but its happening.  My brother, 28 years old, has never lived on his own, until about 3 years ago has never lifted a finger to help my parents around the house and he's been living in the basement with his 29 year old girlfriend for over 2 years.  They just got engaged. No one acknowledged me moving out of the house.  apparently that isn't as big of a milestone as living at home and getting engaged. the day after i moved out my room was turned into storage.  It took my father 3 weeks to come to see where i live.  i took my mother over a month and that was because i made a point of saying something to her.  She claims she doesn't want to lose another child - but she doesn't do a good job of keeping me brother's fiancee's parents were in town (BEFORE they got engaged but after i moved out) and my mother invited EVERYONE over for dinner.  They all knew her parents were in town.  but did they know that i had moved out of the house? i had to tell my aunt, my uncle, my grandmothers that i had moved out - because my brother girlfriends parents coming into town is apparently more important than your own daughter moving out of the house.  I was always that kid that helped out as much as i could - i learned how to cook at the age of 12 so i could help around the house.  no one acknowledges anything i've done.  my mother talks to me and tells me to be civil to his fiancee....and i've tried.  I've tried carrying conversations with her.  The last time my brother even attempted to talk to my boyfriend was the day of my grand fathers funeral 3 years ago.  Its a double standard - be nice to her but i wont talk to your brother about being nice to your spouse.  Now when i visit my parents house his girlfriend doesn't even acknowledge me.  i told my mother that she completely ignores me - and my mother turns it back around on me and say "well SHE thinks you're ignoring HER!"  i flipped out on my mom.  i also forgot to mention the part that i found out about the engagement from a friend.  no one communicates with me - and thats not to say i don't try to communicate with them.  I was always the buffer in my family.  my dad yells about nothing, my brother is the same if he doesn't get his way and my twin sister is anal retentive about cleanliness....i just sit at the sidelines and want it to just be quiet.  And now it just seems like the only person i had anything in common with is no longer alive.  i don't know....i can't talk to anyone about it because they think i'm overreacting or being jealous.  but my whole life was like this.  my twin is a hockey mom is a huge hockey mom.  so that always came first before my art....i could walk into a room and my mother will introduce me "this is my daughter" and the response i got was "oh!  are you the one that plays hockey!?"

Anyways, its just really hard to explain how it feels when it feels like no one cares about you.  they bend over backwards for this girl and they do nothing for me.  not even come to visit me at my new place.  they live a 15 min. drive away.
Besides my boyfriend i feel like i have no one.  My best friend lives in another city, and i don't like to talk to my friends about it here because i don't want to seem self invloved.
Instead of telling me the usual "why don't you invite them over for dinner" or "you should try telling your mother"  does anyone out there understand what i'm going through?
Shadowboxer1 Shadowboxer1
1 Response Aug 13, 2010

I understand how you feel. I have very little family. My "friends" dont really care about me. I always feel left out. If I try to talk about it Im told its my fault, or I making it up.