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Faking Happiness

That is literally all that I do. I pretend to be happy, but that's so not me. I am literally bleeding on the inside, but no one knows it. I am affected by every little thing around me.
I am never really happy. It doesn't matter whether it is a good day or a bad day. 
The reason for me being sad and feeling this way is because not a single person in this entire world knows how i really feel.
I don't have even a single friend. 
I mean I want at least one person to know how I feel. It would make me feel lighter. But then I think why would anyone want to listen about what I feel, or what would they think of me after they knew how i felt.
I mean if I told them that whenever they talk about their Dad's, I remember watching my Dad leave. 
They would think that I'm a freak, which I know I am. But no one else does.
I don't think I can pretend being happy anymore. 
gamingzone3 gamingzone3 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 18, 2010

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that is the saddest thing i have ever read!!there are times that i feel im alone and nobody really sees me either...i cry alot but i hide the tears from others cause im afraid of a mutter under there breath laughting at me or something.....but dont every think there is nobody that cares for you there is always someone they just might not wanna show you...keep your head up sugar..if you ever wanna just talk leave me a message im up for it:)

I know how you feel--I was you in the 1980s. Don't fake being happy. Be what you are. Channel your frustration into something meaningful as I did with my writing. If somebody tries to shame you out of being your truth, don't listen.

All I can say is I know exactly how your feel. Everyday I hide behind... well a smile... I think... I do not really know if I even smile.<br />
<br />
I wish I could say more than hang in there. However, it is all I can say and do as well.

i also fake happiness. part of it is not wanting to burden other people with my unhappiness but i think i also dont trust people enough to let them know the real me :(

I fake happy too.<br />
I cry in my bedroom ,then dash away the tears, go outside ,smile at everyone.<br />
We are not freaky or weird. We just don't find out the way to be happy.

i know how you feel, no one see's the real me, when i did try to show the real me i was called a freak and a weirdo, so now all people see is the image i created. the happy joking person they all know is fake. <br />
Your not alone.