Always Feeling Disconnected N Distanced....

ever since i was 11 (16 now almost 17) i never felt PART of whatever i was SUPPOSED to be part OF, like family for instance...i always felt like i was forever being shoved out of the picture because well i am not the type of person to kiss someones a$$ because thats how i will get attention or love or i am not the type of person to BEG or CRY for life is BETTER now that i have moved to florida but its not RIGHT everything is f*cked up! my dad is a control freak and wont let me go anywhere or do anything BY MYSELF. he wont let me hang out with anyone if they are not "my age or approved by him" i feel caged, restless,lost,confused,happy,unhappy, MAN i DONT KNOW WHAT I FEEL ANYMORE! its like a combination of EVERY emotion u can think all n all i have been getting upset or angry more easily lately because i just feel so ALONE because NO ONE KNOWS THE REAL ME even my FAMILY, my mom, my sis, my dad, my aunts, my uncles,no one knows me...and I AM SO SCARED to show them the REAL AND UTTERLY TRUE ME BECAUSE I DONT WANT THEM TO CALL ME "crazy" or "stupid" or just plain ignore me cuz they dont like me.....i GUESS i am just terrified of failure....and for ALL my friends here on EP i am NOT suicid@l ANYMORE just sad and confused people......i dont know what to do or say anymore.....i need advice on life.....tell me anything u think might help because well it hurts my pride BUT i am begging anyone who reads this to tell me what i have to overcome to feel happy n carefree n welcome......sincerly Mindy

lilfallenangel lilfallenangel
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 11, 2009

did you know that the human brain does not MATURE until the age of 25. You have a lot of looking forward too. You'll take plenty of stupid risk and say stupid stuff, but its cause your just growing up. Just cause your 17 you don't stop growing. Ask an insurance when will your policy be less? He will tell you, when your about 25. I wonder why?