Why Me

I know that I am too young to feel that no one loves me. I also know that most people writing these stories have had a hard life and me, well you could probably call me the average kid. But that's not the point. I always thought that i would make it big, be famous, live rich ,until i met some one. He changed my life . i thought he was the love my life ,but it turns out that was just my imagination. And so my story begins............................................
I met him on the first day of school. At first he seemed immature to me ,but soon i couldn't resist to love him. He was nice ,and funny ,and down to earth. I thought he was perfect but all that had changed. As i grew to love him he grew to love my best friend . My Heart felt as if it was taken away from me.I still haven't told her how I felt yet.That night that I found out that he loved her and not me I began to think "is she better than me". I thought about her beautiful dark skin. I thought about how she had a cell phone and a facebook.I thought about her long and silky black hair. I thought about how her clothes fit her and never had stains ,but most of all i thought about how he loved her and not me.After i thought about her I began to think about everybody else in my school. About how everyone had nice clothes. How everyone had cellphones and house phones.How everyone got paid attention to except for me.
Sometimes i pray to god and ask why does it have to be me. There are many kids out there who don't deserve to have the things they have ,or the attention they get or the beauty they have. I go to church as much as i can and most kids that have these things dont even know how Jesus died. I just wish that i was prettier ,that i was stronger, that i had more confidence. I hate myself . All i have is brains and that's all I'm good for. So take me away ,let me die. No one will ever love me or accept me for who I am. I don't tell anyone because I'm misunderstood. No one will care about what I have to say or do . I'm sure that if i killed myself today no one would find out because they wouldn't bother asking for me. So take me away ,let me die young I want my life to be over and to live in heaven with the only person that will ever love me .......GOD .
If you have stopped reading by now it is okay because you probably don't care either. I wrote this to let my feelings out .This is to show readers how I feel and what ive been wanting to say for a long time. If you did not like this its ok . I probably will not be here tommorow so don't worry ill be gone.Goodbye world and sorry for everything i could have possibly done to disgust you and sorry for being me.

P.S. I hope you know now that not everyone lives the perfect life. Goodbye world.
Misunderstuud Misunderstuud
13-15, F
2 Responses May 21, 2012

I can relate to you on some things, and to be honest as much as our different problems pain us, in the end most if not all are temporary. Also, good looks isnt everything.... Most people think i have a cute face and curves. What does this get me? Lots of attention from a bunch of immature boys who just want me for looks. Sometimes I wish I looked average just to avoid all this crap. Anyways I am not religious, but I think the way it gives you strength is a beautiful thing. My personal problem has to do with both sides of my family not liking me and how they try to manipulate me and pit me against the other side of my family. Really, my only solution is to figure out what to do with my life and move out asap. I know your problem is different, but I hope in some small way reading this has helped. It would make me really sad if you really did kill yourself in the end, and I do not even know you. Please never give up, there is always hope and reason to live, even if you dont really know why.

Hello, I've never posted anything on any site before, but your story touched me. I am 31 with two small children going through a very difficult time in my marriage. <br />
So, it seems that I am much older than you but feeling a lot of the same feelings. I have no financial problems, and I'm attractive (mixed race with long curly hair). Just wanted to let you know that people in all forms, from different backgrounds and age groups can have very similar feelings. Love is the most beautiful thing and the most painful thing. My advice to you is advice that I'm also giving myself because it's very easy to forget, especially when you are hurting ... There are MANY people that love you. I have a very large family and lots of friends, it just feels like no one does because the one person you're focused on isn't responding the way you would like. Also remember that you only know your own story, the grass is not as green as it looks. Nobody's life is perfect.<br />
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As you said, there is always one that truly loves you and that is God. He wants what's best for you and He knows how to give it to you. If you love Him as much as He loves you, then trust in Him. You will get over the sadness you're experiencing and your beautiful brains will lead you to the happy, love filled, successful life that you deserve. Stay hopeful, stay courageous, stay prayerful and stay strong. Everything else will come in due time. We will overcome and this too shall pass. : )