Unloveable

I am 27. I am going through this bad funk. I have no one who truly cares about me. I am always criticized by family. I can't do anything right. I don't get along with them unlessII'm givingtthem money. I live at home with my 8yr old son.. WhichIis probably why I get criticized. I'm graduating from college in May, I have a decent job, I'm trying to save up for a housebbut it is just hard. I lack confidence which is preventing me from getting my dreamjjob. I feel inferior to everyone. I have social anxiety. I feel useless. Soul less. My boyfriend and I split up a few days ago. He was the only one who saw potential in me. Everyone else looks at me as a failure. Because I had a kid so young. it was a bad relationship I deserve better but I don't want to be alone.I feel like the world is against me. I'm angry all the time. I just want to cry all day. I dont have that many friends that I can connect with. MY Self esteem is shot. I'm emotionally exhausted and feel defeated by life. When I take a good look I think why am I feeling like this? I am an amazing person.. But then the negative thoughts just come back. I obviously don't love myself.. How am I supposed to? My family doesn't even seem to love me. I dont have one person who thinksI am important. I don't know what to do anymore. I hope these feelings eventually pass.
Reddle22 Reddle22
26-30, F
3 Responses Dec 2, 2012

You have your son and to him you are the most important person in the world!! So please do not forget about him and do not exclude him from your life no matter how bad you feel. Love him and enjoy your time together.

No matter what, you are worthy of love and belonging. No one knows you well enough to define who you are, neither can anyone do a better job than you in realising your own potential. You can be tough on yourself, or you can be gentle. The choice is yours and sometimes we can mess up. But you HAVE to believe that you are worthy. That'd be the starting point.

It sounds like you've just had a few knocks back. Relationship breakups can really make you feel low. I'm so sorry to hear that you feel your family have no confidence in you. And I wonder if that is honestly true or perhaps some of your negative thinking. Because it sounds like they are supporting you and your child through college? Hang on to those positive thoughts that you are an amazing person who has been through a lot. And be gentle on yourself. Maybe can you talk to your family about how you feel? Kindest wishes :)