Few People "get" Me.

I feel as if very few people "get" me. I'm shy in certain situations, particularly in groups. However, one-on-one I'm usually talkative and friendly, albeit quite self-conscious and anxious. Once in a while, I talk with someone who laughs at every joke I make. I tend to be sarcastic and joke a lot when I communicate with others, and once in a while, I'll talk to someone that actually picks up on my sarcasm or gets the jokes and they will laugh constantly. The majority of my interactions, however, make me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I make a comment and get a "deer in headlight" look from others. I recently worked for a large company comprised mainly of women employees and found only one girl out of over 100 that had any interest in getting to know me. All of the others would "get to know me" then suddenly cut me off from getting closer to them. My one friend was the only girl that would EVER ask me to lunch or to do something outside of work, and even that was rare. I had to quit the job because I couldn't handle the drama with my coworkers. Although I was always friendly, nearly all of the women in my department did not like me or want to have much to do with me. I didn't engage in gossip with them, did not gossip about them; I was always respectful to them. When I would enter my office area that I shared with other women, they would all stopped talking suddenly. This might appear as if I'm being overly sensitive and paranoid, but one woman actually admitted to me that she did not like me based on comments the other girls made about me. She felt bad because as she got to know me, she found me to be "sweet," but then later began to ignore me again, for whatever reason. I don't even know what it is like to have a close friend. The only females remotely resembling a "friend" in my life are my mother and more recently, my mother-in-law. It's strange to me. Most people are so nice to me when we speak but they want nothing more to do with me beyond that. I try to force communication to get closer and finally give up when I sense it is going no where.

I'm also active on several social networking sites and have over 100 friends. Few people, including my own family members, comment when I post status updates. 

My husband recognizes my situation and feels for me. Just yesterday, he even remarked about how I truly am completely overlooked and misunderstood. This caused me to feel overwhelmingly sad about my predicament, as it somehow solidified my situation although I have been living this life for years. Now, I'm posting here. I am quite alone in this world and don't understand why

So to summarize, I can click with people but it is so rare. A few people understand me, care about me, appreciate my humor and respect me. Most others avoid me like the plague. To my knowledge, I don't have body odor, bad breathe or any other physical offense. I am an attractive person with what I would consider a fun personality and am reasonably intelligent. However, I am depressed due to this alienation. What am I doing wrong? Am I some freak of nature?

girlNtrouble girlNtrouble
31-35, F
1 Response Feb 8, 2010

I have no qualifications to make a diagnosis but have some thoughts. Sometimes people have an anxiety disorder that manifests itself in groups. You feel awkward, can joke but not everyone gets it, a sarcastic statement can be trouble in a company of people who don't know you and annoying to those who do-these are often attempts to compensate for anxiety which gets worse with each bad experience & after awhile it is hard to distinguish cause & effect. Anxiety is a mood disorder like depression and is treatable & there is no shame in reaching out for help. Ask your MD & and Google anxiety & awkwardness. Your family understands you and loves you so you are likely OK with people you are comfortable and with whom you feel safe, and if you get through a job interview & and get a job you are hardly at a loss for resourcefulness. Good luck.