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I Don't Know What To Believe

There are days where I feel like my closest friends really don't care about me or like me. I have slight paranoia, so that's part of it but I've been used and lied to in the past. I get paranoid that that's what my friends are doing, using me. I have no idea what for, there's nothing I can be used for. There are no benefits to being my friend. But I can't help it, it's always there in the back of my mind.

I don't know what to do, I need to be reassured that I'm not going to have to go through the pain of losing friends again.

When I try to talk about how I feel, I feel like I shouldn't be. I feel like I'm not cared about some days. And that simply reinforces the paranoid feelings.

I'm so lost, and feel so...abandoned.
NothingButNumbness NothingButNumbness 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2010

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Its so painful to think that people can be so cruel , this is whats going on inside of you and it is real to you. Take the time to listen to the silent whispers, the one that tells you that you are thought of and cared for. You are a sister and mother, wife and friend. You are titled as so man from the person who is one. The many ones that add up to some one who matters. You have a special purpose here, take the time to look and see what that is. Be a friend to yourself, nice way to practice isn't it?

The same happens to me...when I feel like Im the one everyone is laughing about, and no one truly cares about me. But, somone does care about you. If you have close friends, you let them get to know you. I assume you opened up to them? They've got to know who you are (even if its not 100% true) and they have accepted it. Be confident in yourself. You know who you are and be content with it. I know you're awesome, believe in it too.

Yup. That's what happens. When I was young everyone was very nasty to my brother and I, so whenever anything happens I have no other explanation for, I'm likely to assume it's just "more of the same".<br />
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People are likely to assume the same explanations are true for things that they once could prove in the past actually were...