I love the idea of sex, always have. I have never been comfortable having sex however, and always feel unclean emotionally and mentally after.
Now this recent thing has really pushed it to the edge and I don't know if I can have sex with anyone again, and I don't know if I want to.
I fell too hard for him, more than I even knew. I don't think he used me for sex, but I feel very used in general. We spent a month dating and talking, falling for each other. Finally we had sex, and it wasn't even that good but I liked this guy. Then he disappeared and tried to ignore me. I don't let things just go, so I found out that him and his ex got back together. Hurt beyond belief.
However, I'm feeling much better. Obviously he has huge issues and is a tool. But I can't help but think about kissing him, feeling him hold me and thinking about the sex. I feel so used and stupid. Sex now is mentally disgusting.
This sucks.
SilverCold SilverCold
22-25, F
Aug 21, 2014