I'm 21 years old. I'm living with my mother and my sister, I have a decent job, I have a family that says that they love me, and I don't have many friends.
I've always felt different. At first, I just spoke differently. I felt like I was more intelligent than those around me, usually at school, partly because of the more sophisticated way that I spoke. Every time I would try to use slang, it would feel really weird. Later on, albeit unrelated to what I was talking about before, I realized that I was gay and that kind of made things worse. I never really fit in anywhere, and I still feel like I don't, and being gay just adds onto the list of things that make me different from everyone else. Other things just gradually kept piling onto that list as the years passed.
Right now, I look at the guys around me, and they all seem to have some things in common. They enjoy sex, or they want relationships, or they want to look good, or they want to be on their own, etc. I feel like there's something wrong with me. I don't enjoy sex and I'm not interested in relationships. A lot of the things that other people enjoy, I can't. A lot of those things feel like things that I should enjoy, too. Like the sex one... And it makes me feel like a freak. I know that I probably shouldn't worry so much about what other people do, but it's so hard to when all I've ever wanted was to belong somewhere. What can I do to stop feeling like such a freak?
Croach93 Croach93
22-25, M
Aug 26, 2014