Will I Be Alone Forever?

I have distanced myself from other people my entire life. I was painfully shy and very, very quiet. I didn't even talk to my own family. It seems like I was born with low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. I fall for guys who I know will hurt me, and end up doing just that. The one guy I have wanted for four years, only wants one thing from me. He is the one person I have ever loved, and the one who I can't bare to let hurt me. Not him. He doesn't want me though, so I am trying to come to terms with it and move on, without looking back. I have always felt like my soul mate is out there, I have even given him a nickname, which my be sad. I really do hope he comes one day, and we can be together, but I really don't want to get my hopes up. It feels like no one understands the pain I experience every day, but I know that you guys do. If you are reading this, you probably know the pain I am speaking of. The pain of being truly alone is like no other. It stings, aches, burns, stabs, anything you can think of it does. It is worse than physical pain in my opinion. I would rather go through torture every day, just to be with my soul mate. Because being alone is worse than torture, in my opinion. Thank you for reading, and feel free to comment if you feel my pain. It's nice to know that we don't have to be as alone as we think.
fs9834 fs9834
18-21, F
14 Responses Jul 25, 2010

So how u feeling after the whole year.. :p a total difrent pers0n.. Actualy Evryone in dis world has come alone and will go al0ne, if u beleive dat u wud nevar feel shy by the temporary ppl.

No, you are not alone in this.

hmm you are not who you are ! okay you are ! but yeah you are tying to change! oh I get it you have changed! , but not enough I guess but yeah you are changing ! okay enough of me talking like this. I am so in sensitive!. but yeah you got a long time ahead , that is a trap, you don't have a long time , you just gotta test some guys, let them feel your pain and see if they run away ! hmm i guess they would , any one who feels the same pain would be a good partner too but there is a lot you are not telling us. Hmm of course this is just a online forum but yeah we like you ! so lets say Go Go fs9834! get your man! we will back you up if u fail , okay lets set a rule, you are gonna try 100 times at the very least before you say you failed! Ok that's decided! And if that guy makes you cry , tell us his address we will personally beat him up for you! :D

I can't give you any advice,but I can say I know how you feel. To live without love and affection is not a bad thing if you feel you don't need it in your life,but if you DO want it,it is going hurt. And nothing anyone says can make you stop wanting it. All I can say is I wish you all the best, and that you find the love you want very soon.

Thank you, Paula. That is what I am going to do.

listen i was with a guy for 4yrs 3kids later and i didnt think i could make it alone but im on my own and im enjoying being free and single let ur soulmate come to u stop lookin and enjoy your life <3 paula

Speak and have the courage to obtain what your heart is truly desiring, If you have a passion to be loved do not limit yourself or settle for anything less then what you think you should be getting. Needless suffering when you have life and health is redundant. Look into yourself and speak your mind. People sometimes will not agree but that is better then saying nothing at all.

Thanks, krylancelo!!

I guess we just have to learn to be patient, which is a very hard thing to do! Thank you for your comment, and good luck, UnderEli!!

I'm going through a similar situation myself right now. The world I was so enjoying has spun itself tightly around me again, and all I sense is my own isolation. It's a very painful and scary place to be. I want to reach out and grab ahold of anyone woman who might provide me with comfort and make my fears and demons vanish. Of course, only I can make that happen. It sure was nice dreaming things could be otherwise, though

Thank you so much for your comments, it's true, I have settled for every boyfriend I have ever had, but I am going to try not to do that. The loneliness gets to me, and that's why I settle, but I am going to try to just focus on myself, and maybe that will keep me occupied until he comes.

You really are beautiful it's a shame that you cannot see yourself in that way completely. I hope that someday you will. And Yes, I know how it feels. What you wrote sounds like something i have said a while ago. I agree with what lotsofneeds said. Don't settle, wait for your soul mate. Don't be too uptight either because you wont let anyone get close to you and will have a difficult time expressing yourself. Have fun, but be cautious and go with your gut. Trust me on this I am talking from experience. I wish you well. :-) take care and if you need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

hi fs9834, i can understand your pain , mine is somewhat different , but its still pain . i will advise for you to wait for your soul mate , dont settle , i promise you that is the last thing you want , cos then you will feel real pain as i came to find out .... the right person is there and it will be worth the wait . take care .

Thank you so much, I have made my share of mistakes, but I'm trying to get my life together. Thanks for the advice!!!!