I Never Dreamed My Life Would Be Like This, Unemployed And Alone :(I always had high hopes and ambition. Through college I always thought I would land a great job. I graduated two years ago w/ a business degree, my professors filling my head with thoughts that I was intelligent and really somebody. I graduated thinking I had the world ahead of me.
Two years have come and gone, and I'm now unemployed...never landing that "career" job. I now live w/ my dad, who doesn't believe in me. I watched my younger brother graduate with the same degree, and land a great job. I'm constantly compared to him and it really hurts a lot that my family looks at me with such disappointment.
I want to be successful and be independent. But I've now been unemployed for over 6 months and honestly everyday that goes by hurts my self esteem even more. I have $150 to my name. I've interviewed for countless jobs. In fact, I've applied to so many jobs I have to keep a list to keep it straight.
My dad recently had his siblings fly in from out of state. They are my relatives, but I dont really know them. I was literally grilled by them about what I'm doing with my life, basically what is wrong with me that I don't have a job. This was not what I needed as my self esteem is at an all time low. However the real blow was when my dad said in front of the relatives that my brother was definitely smarter than me and more successful. I was so appalled I had to leave the room.
Right now I feel so judged by the world. I feel like a giant loser...like everyone would be better off with out me in this world. It is so hard to even want to get up in the morning.To everyone who has a job, I look lazy. It seems so simple in their mind to "just go get a job." If it was that freakin easy I wouldn't have this problem! The longer I'm unemployed the harder its getting. Recruiters frown at my gap in employment and I constantly get the line "the other candidates have more experience." In order to have experience, you've got to have a job. But I can't get a job b/c I dont have experience...it's very frustrating.
I've grown apart from all of my friends, not ever doing anything because I dont have any money to do fun things, or just network. I just feel like I am all alone in this world. I would give anything for someone to just hug me and tell me its gonna be ok and that they believe in me.
I know I cant be the only one that's been affected by the bad economy. I really messes with your head. I wish I had someone in my life that understood what I was going through.