Keeping Everything Inside

I am always judged by everyone, even my best friend. I used to be like everyone else, and I still don't think I am much different from the rest of you, but as I grow up, the harder it is for everyone around me to accept me. I came out as a bisexual to my friends and parents, and still my parents don't mention it, almost two years later.
I wear the most make up out of everyone I know and I have extreme confidence issues, I also self harm and I love it.
I am extremely quiet, but that's only because I don't have anyone to talk to. I used to have one person but she left me after her mom and friends told her to do so. I am also genderqueer, I feel like I'm neither female or male, so in the future, I plan to have top surgery.
I still have yet to find someone I am comfortable with and all I want in life is to have a friend that loves me and I love em back just the same
alex4711 alex4711
18-21
2 Responses Dec 1, 2012

No matter how much the world turn against you, still be stronger in what you believe. I also have the same problem as you. I also had this feeling inside. not once but twice. i have moved on to my first love (best friend) which made me heartbroken and replaced it with my new crush. and now she's driving me crazy.No matter how much i kept telling myself that what im doing is wrong. Everyone around me doesn't see me that way. Even boys tend to have a crush on me but i didn't care. It just goes deeper and deeper and got me broken. An know im still trying to move on with it even if it hurts. But only 2 of my friends knows it . a gay and girl. i'm very sorry if i miss interpret my response earlier.I didn't mean to judge . I also jumped down to this site because i'm heartbroken and telling myself to move on. You're strong so keep it up. Good luck to your top surgery in the future.Be who you are do what you love.

When you go against what people believe is normal. They tend to put up a wall of defense usually it to ignore the subject or reject the subject. They like to think in black and white forgetting about the grey area and the beautiful colors.