Attempting To Find Myself....and Failing.

Recently I’ve felt lost. I know millions of people feel this way on a daily basis, but for me this is an unusual. I’ve always been so sure of myself, so utterly aware of every aspect of my personality, both negative and positive. No matter what I go through in life I always say to myself ‘Be true to who you are.’ Now all I can think is, who the hell am I? I’m questioning every aspect of my identity, every decision I’ve made and the ultimate goals that I have set for myself. The truth is, at the age of 24 years old and having lived two years independently whilst studying a degree, I have reverted back to having the mind set of a clueless pubity ridden adolescent. If I could look into the future and see what my life is going to be like in 10 years, would I be happy with what I’m creating? I really don’t know anymore. I wish I had some magic wand to help me decide what’s right for me. Then again, I really need to start waking up and realising that this is reality, fairy tales do not exist. I wish they did though, I could do with a liberating journey accompanied by a handsome and charming man that just so happens to be my destined soul mate. **** you Disney! Thank’s for filling me up with endless illusions of dreams come true. Maybe Disney should create a film to prepare young minds for the endless decisions they will have to make when they leave the comfort zone of mummys house. I miss being a kid.
wamy88 wamy88
22-25, F
2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

Thats the beauty and the curse of age. I've lost myself too, I wanted to pursue one career, and then changed.

I know I'm younger, but I realized that all these decisions make who we are. We constantly change and morph into creatures we don't recognize, but in the end, its all okay.
Do what you feel is right in your heart. If you want to change, than do it. You're very young and your life is ahead of you.

Unfortunatley, nobody ever warns us of our reality. But thats also a treasure in a sense, because we find out for ourselves. I know its tough to make the right choice, but I feel that in time you'll find it.

Thank you so much for stepping out and sharing your heart like this. You are very courageous! Okay, I have some great news for you. You remind me so much of my precious sister, who is also 24. She is such a treasure to me, and she has come to me with similar feelings. The truth is, the only way we can know who we are is to know the One who made us. Because of God's amazing and unending love for us, he sent his son, Jesus, to live a perfect life, die on the cross for our sins, and raise from the grave. The Lord gave you your wonderful smile, your beautiful hair color, pretty eyes, and your unique and awesome personality for Him. We were made by Him and for Him. He loves you so much! He is why we are here and how we are here. I met Jesus when I was 21 years old, and He has shown me who I am as His son. He longs to show you who you are as His daughter. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
He came for rescue us. Ask Jesus into your life. He is the one that we all need. He is real and very alive.
Lord, I thank you for this precious daughter of yours. Show her your love and never let her go. Speak to her and tell her how special she is, and tell her about the plans you have for her. Wrap your arms around her and give her your peace that surpasses understanding. Thank you for hearing us, saving us, loving us, and paying it all for us, so that we can be with You for all of eternity. In Jesus' name, amen. Bless you! Let me know you received this. :-)