I Don't Understand Myself.

I am confused.  I feel like I have a track to follow, but that I don't fit in it.  I feel like I don't fit into any path, and if I did like I couldn' follow it.  I can't stick with anything.  I'm always interested in anything and everything, but I get bored with things quickly.  I go from one thing to the next and lose motivation if things take too long.  I don't want to do things project by project, I want and have to commit myself to long term things but I'm not able to.

Frankly sometimes I feel crazy.  I get emotions and ideas in my head and I can't always control myself.  And although I'm realizing my faults and am able to fix them sometimes, the one thing I never get is how constantly my personality shifts.  For a few weeks or months I will be one way and then I'll suddenly shift and be different.  I go through times of being very productive, and other times where there is all the potentional and desire to do things but I don't actually do anything.  And I don't get most is its an entire personality shift, I will go from being talkative all the time to more reserved. but it isn't always a mood change like from depressed to upbeat.  just tendencies and things that I do. although my moods do change sometimes they aren't totally random like my personality seems to be.  I just want to understand myself and I want to feel some stability for once.

plumfrog plumfrog
6 Responses Apr 4, 2009

Though this was a couple years ago for you, i am going through this right now. I hope since your post you have found some self clarity. As i am going through this exact struggle right now i can't share much. But life sucks. It truly does. even though i don't understand who i am, or why i'm here today, i know that i can't give up finding me. tomorrow i need to just continue searching, and defining me. i hope you have found what you were looking for.

It's interesting that you replied now. I thought I had gotten through or grown out of those problems but recently started to wonder if I really have. The past year or so I've had issues with chronic headaches and migraines and possibly small seizures. Now that I'm on medication I find my personality shifting again and am wondering if the headaches/seizures/who knows what didn't just overshadow what feels like a ridiculous personality at times.

But I do know who I am regardless of the things that always change. One thing that will never change is who I am underneath it all, the goals and aspirations that I have, and everything that I love. Know what you love and what you want to do and the rest won't matter. You will learn to deal with it.

Stay in school girl, and get the basic over with. Many people do not really know what they want or what will happen after college, and that is okay, cause you are in the path to success. Somewhere between now and then get college counseling, private counseling and aptitude test to see where your true expense should be. Legal aid, paralegal, judicial system, law enforcement all relate, so take care of the basic and see where your path lead you.<br />
Good Luck

That is exacly how i am, I hate being this way, fet up now

U read my mind

hope you get what your looking for good luck

I want some stability myself too.. I feel like I didn't work hard enough for anything either. I had a career path chosen for me because I couldn't choose anything for myself.