My Life Is Like A Giant Tangled Knot, How Did It Get This Way?

In the beginning I didn't have a choice. I was born into a chaotic, messy, angry, violent home. My mom lived in a fantasy world. My dad was a letch. Everyone pretended not to notice. There were happy times, to be sure, but they were few and fair between.

That was a very long time ago. My brothers and sisters have done pretty well, but I think that they are all just a little bit broken. I am, much more than a little bit. I feel as though my insides are rotten and decayed. I don't feel that I can succeed in this world. Some days I am strong and try to create something beautiful of my life, but I get discouraged, or falter, or crumble completely.

I will not give up this time. A month ago I had the opportunity to get some counseling. I will continue counseling for as long as it takes. In the beginning I didn't have a choice. I was born into a mess, but I have a choice now. Some of this tangled mess of a life is my own creation.

It took many years to make my life a mess, but I want to fix it in a week! It just doesn't work that way. As soon as I finish this post I will go back to work untangling. I won't give up.
Arabella2100 Arabella2100
41-45, F
1 Response Feb 22, 2013

You will fix it , just step by step and things will progress ! I know it's really damn hard