I'm So Fed Up

My husband and I have been together for 11 years and married for 8. In the beginging it was perfect but now I feel like I always have to ask for time and most of the time I don't get it. I always have to be the one to plan something for us to do and a lot of the times we don't do them. He always finds time for his friends but when I ask for time that's when he has something important that he has to do or he's tired or it's too early. And the list goes on and on. When he is home he calls that  spending time together even though he is on the computer or wathching a game. What do I do? How do I fix it? I'm so fed up.

grace7201 grace7201
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 9, 2009

I'm in a similar situation. My husband spends most of his time on the phone when he is home but everything else u said is the same. I've tried discussing, as well as emotionally blackmailing. Neither worked. This long weekend he has gone away with his friends up north and I'm sitting home with my daughter. When I ask him to take us out he's either tired or doesn't like waking up early for an outing. An today he woke up at 4am to go blackburn. Im so fed up of trying and trying. I have to be the mum and dad for my daughter.

Is hubby the kind of guy that needs a gentle push, or is he just indifferent to your needs? Do you wash his socks&jocks, do the cooking, look after the house? And do you work as well? If so, you have leverage.<br />
I had a similar situation- so I started doing my own stuff and not being home when my fella got in, planning weekends away with my girlfriends etc. Its a fine line though, you may discover he doesn't mind. I did. But maybe this is what you are scared of.<br />
Have you tried finding an appropriate time to sit with him and telling him how you feel about the relationship? But without being emotional or accusing or needy. Then ask him how he thinks the issue could be resolved. Men respond better to problem solving than emotional blackmail. <br />
Its a tricky one. <br />
if you feel like it, let me know how you get on. <br />
Big hugs to you xx