Desperate For Any Sort Of Relief...hello, i am 23 years old. for the past month i have been feeling..well..nothing. i thought maybe it was dp but im not sure. im not sure of anything anymore. i dont know how to feel again. i try to talk to my friends and family about it but they dont understand. of course i know what i want to feel but i cant seem to get myself to feel that way. im like a walking zombie, emotionless. sometimes ill try and force myself to cry but nothing comes out no tears. it started out me feeling like i wasnt myself. like i was a stranger in my own body..now it has evolved into this. i can barely socialize or hold a conversation without feeling awkward or scared. my job (which i used to be very good at) is suffering greatly. i cant handle anything. doing simple things like getting up and getting dressed feel like a chore. i can barely express myself and its misery. pure misery. i used to be a happy social bubbly person, who yes, experienced depression,but i was self medicating myself with a positive attitude and not letting it get the best of me. i never thought id say this but i would rather be depressed then feel like this. or not feel i should say..i remember when the depression would get bad i almost didnt want to live. id never hurt myself but i thought about it..now i would give ANYTHING to feel alive. i know if i could feel again,i would never take anything or anyone for granted ever again. i dont see hope though. each day this seems to get worse. i cant live like this but i dont want to die. what do i do? is there medication that can fix this? im willing to try anything :( this is ruining my life day by day and it needs to stop. i need to be me again..sorry i realize this makes no sense but as i said before i cant express myself at all,let alone talk. any and all advice is appreciated.
xstoryofxagirlx 22-25 5 Responses 1 Dec 17, 2010