Everyone's Worst Nightmare

It's a scary thing to feel numb. Except you don't really feel it you just....are...numb. It's like you flipped a switch to shut off that part of your mind that feels emotion. You try to trigger them, but the tears don't fall, your anger doesn't rage. So what's a person to do when they've lost the part of them self that cared so much? Hope...hope and pray to whatever god, or lack thereof, it is they believe in that the day will come again when all those feelings, all those emotions that made them human, will find their way back home again.
LifeOfAGingerKid LifeOfAGingerKid
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 28, 2012

I've felt numb for the past 4 years.

It's a side effect of medication I'm taking.

Maybe it'd be smart to not take that medication. It's a horrible feeling.

I pretty much have to.

Without it I've tried to kill myself.

Then get rid of the negative thoughts, and you won't have to take medication.

That isn't an option when the world is full of negativity.

It's not the world that's full of negativity, it's your attitude. I've seen people who have the absolute worst things imaginable happen to them, yet they're the happiest people I know. So no, it's not the world that's the problem, it's how you perceive things.

I'm afraid it isn't.

Some of us can longer bear the burden of the expectation to be normal when we are not.

There's no such thing as a burden to be normal. No one expects you to be normal. It doesn't exist. All that bull**** about how you have to fit in to be happy, and act a certain way is junk you fill your head with yourself. That's not how the world really is. And guess what? You're alive today. That alone should make you the happiest person alive.

Where I come from, if you're not the same as every other mindless bastard you're frowned upon and avoided like you have some kind of plague.

With little other human interaction you slowly become a bitter, twisted person who has no will to live.

What the hell does it matter if you fit in with those people? You think they're still gonna be in your life 20 years from now? No, they're not. If you live your whole life trying to fit in and appease other people, you'll figure out that it gets miserable. Let loose. Have fun. Be yourself. Don't blame others for your problems. You can't control how they treat you, but you can sure as hell control how you react.

Ma'am, I don't need a lecture from someone who doesn't understand.


Like I said.

Goodbye ma'am.

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