So basically the title says it all. I feel so out of place that when family comes over I find some excuse to lock myself in my room. I mean they're family, they're supposed to be easy to talk to, to be around, but when I'm around them I find myself wishing that I could crawl under the floorboards, or sink into the carpet, and disappear.

But then there's the problem that I know that if I tell them they'll think I'm a total head case, they'll start walking on egg shells around me but at the same time baby me. It's completely and totally infuriating that I can't express myself in front of family. It's a physical can't, every time I try my throat tightens, tears well up in my eyes, and before I know it I'm a sobbing mess. When my parents find out what's wrong they tell me I can tell them anything and for the next couple of weeks they give me worried glances and constantly ask if I'm okay and then go back to normal like nothing happened.

The real problem is that no matter how much they say I can trust them with what I'm thinking, my body and my mind keep me from saying it, and that's why I'm here, typing it. So by some amazing miracle, they find it and know it's me. Because I'm tired of my "I'm-Happy-and-Perfectly-Fine" facade and I don't know what to do anymore, if there's any one out there who does, please help me because I've reached my limit.

And if you're a parent with a child that, often, gets angry easily, gets anxious quiet or disappears when family is around, seems to be anti-social, asks questions about how you were around their age, isolates themselves, and acts rude; talk to them. Don't wait for them to come to you and the forget about their behavior because it's not going to happen. I mean I've felt this way for years and I haven't went to them for help.
OneTrueOutsider OneTrueOutsider
18-21
Aug 19, 2014