I Want to Start Again

i look at people and I am amazed at the kind of relationships they have that I have never had. maybe i push people away? or maybe I get tired and bored of people too often. but if I had one wish I would love to go back again and start all over. I can't count that many people who I am close to, and even if I am close to someone it's  just for a short while and we only end up bonding over a few things. most of last yera I was pals with a girl who was in highschool with me, we would go for french classes together and other stuff. we also bonded over stories of our fathers ( her parent's split up, and my dad is an ***) her mum went off for chemo and I was one of the few she told. Fastfoward to today . . . a month or even two can go by, and i don't see or talk to her but she is o.k cause she  has plenty of friends. . . while I feel really lonely and wierd . .

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26-30
1 Response Feb 23, 2009

I am a 45 year old male. I have had a few close friends yet not like I see others have. I know without exagerating, 400 people I have known for 6 to 15 years due to my work. I have been in there house every 3 months. I have been invited to their family get togethers, holidays, ect. I would rather be alone then be doing things Id rather not, maybe not fitting in yet I know I would have fit in and helped liven up the party.