Scary Growing Up..

my life was moving along smoothly all summer, i got into college and i was working and things were great. november, me and my friend got arrested, and it really screwed my life up. because i had to make up a lot of money, i quit going to school so i could work more. instead my boss decided, he couldnt give me more hours than i had, and instead i didnt have any hours at work, so i was pretty much fired. so im in trouble with court, and out of work and school. im useless. then my car completely just broke one night, my suspension fell completely off my car, we can even get it into the garage to take a look at it. ive been looking for a job since my previous one and there is absolutly nothing out here. its even harder for me to get a job now because i dont have a reliable source to get back and forth anywhere.. so it really set me back. ontop of this, im completely inlove with my best friend, it stinks going back and forth in my own mind, wether to tell him or not because i dont want to loose this great friendship.. ive been wanting to go to therapy, but its too expensive and i dont have insurance to go to a decent person. i dont really open up to people because i feel like all i say is just whining and i rely on myself to make things better, but in all reality its just making things worse.. im not looking for sympathy, its just really nice to be able to get this all out. its just been a downward spiral since. i dont know how to get back into my life and feel good about it.

ceahorse ceahorse
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 21, 2009

Waiwera is right, things do happen for reasons, though sometimes it can be a long time before it is discovered...in the mean time, don't give up...<br />
as for the therapy, there's your best best, truely and there are some good ones through the counties; please do not let your depression talk you out of it...and damn it, tell your friend how you feel; if he needs to take time to know how to act, what to say, after you've told him, don't take it personally; give him space and respect and you should still be able to hold your friendship together...<br />
take a couple of belly breathers, don't be afraid to ask for help, and remember, we've been there too and you're not alone...hang in there baby..<br />
above all...keep posting!

Well, ceahorse, I can say that you're definitely not "useless"; but it certainly sounds as if you're in a spot of bother - I'll give you that!<br />
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If your "best friend" is really your friend, he won't drop you if you were to tell him your troubles - if he does drop you, he's only a "fair weather friend", and has just proved his worth, which would not be very much. At the moment, your best friend seems the most likely person to be able to help you - he may know of someone who knows someone who can give you a hand.<br />
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One thing's for sure: these situations are "sent to try us", and there must be a way out of it, some way to resolve it, somehow. Keep asking your higher self, your Essential Being that you really are, to show you what it is. Often we're put in a jam in order to discover things about ourselves that we wouldn't discover in any other way...<br />
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The best of good fortune with it!