Mood Change?


I dont know why I have gone quiet recently. By recently I mean in the past 1 and a half years. Im not talkative no, but I do talk when I need to or have something to say. I dont like unnecassary talk really, but if I ever do need to go on and on I do. 
However, in the past 1 and a half years ive been especially quiet and I dont know why. Normally Id dominate every conversation and people would be listening to me, daring to interrupt me, but Ive grown so tired of talking, like all the juice has been squeezed right out of me. I like being quiet though, but I still want a voice and I do not want to lose that. People, especially my friends think something is wrong, okay, things are generally not great for me, but otherwise life is pretty normal. Except for the fact that Ive grown quiet. My friends say things like, "Why are you so quiet for??" But I havent lost any friends. In fact...Im made more friends. I think being quiet and only talking when asked to makes you seem cool somehow, but I find it very annoying and makes me feel powerless. Or maybe its the fact that I know trying to strike up a productive conversation with my peers just wont work and wont be worth it and will instead resort to something rude, or sexual or something weird and obscene. Its like, Ive grown fed up of talking to air heads. Im not saying Im intelligent, but what Im saying is that sometimes I feel like Im quiet because of the fact that I have so much to say but no one to say it too...the girls at my school, my God words cannot describe how lost I feel around them. Imagine I say something like, "Oh, guys, did you know that theres this fish that has feet?" And this wasnt randomly we were discussing this documentary we saw. They are like, "Yeah!" And then they discuss other body parts and somehow it goes to boys again. Argh. Boys. Its not that I hate them, just that they can be very hard to trust. And very rarely you will meet a decent boy. Thats also another reason why Im considered quiet. Ive stopped dating and given up the thought of a boyfriend. Maybe Im strange, maybe Im not, but atleast I stll have my virginity intact. Oh, I went off topic. Oh well, its not like I can go back and delete this whole entry is it?
DownsideUp DownsideUp
18-21
Jul 21, 2010