Im Not Sure

i realized that i do feel lonely most of the time. Sad thing is im in a relationship and feel like im loving a stranger. i think the main reason i stay is because every once in a while he makes me feel something... other than anger, loneliness, or frustration. it drives me crazy i feel like ive wasted four years for nothing. i lost actual friends due to his jealousy. i think its my fault i tried soo hard to keep him happy i lost myself. im afraid of starting all over. i feel so lost soo lonely. i dont know anymore
xlovelyxdarknessx xlovelyxdarknessx
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 19, 2010

If you are losing friends due to his jealousy, he has the problem not you. Ask five friends and family if you should leave him. Take their majority opinion.

You need to take a deep breath and think about the kind of life you want to live. Then start doing things that will enable you to live that life. There's really no room for jealousy in a happy life, so maybe that needs addressing. Is it going to change or is the source of that negativity going to go? <br />
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By the way, there's no such thing as "wasting" four years - not really. It is what it is, and no more than that. The thing is, you must choose how you are going to affect the next four years. That is what's important now, and it is up to you. <br />
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It sounds as if you really have had it with being lonely. So - look at what you do that is making you lonely. Not what he does - because in the end he is going to do whatever he does. You can control only you. So take your life back. Be your own person.<br />
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If you need to talk, message me and we can talk about it. My profile page makes me look like a sex fiend, but really all it amounts to is an online identity as a tool to explore sexual ideas without limit. This is different, and so don't worry that it's all about sex. Hungryguy might be all about sex, but there are lots more identities rattling around in my head here, and some of them are real enough to take this kind of thing seriously. <br />
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The first rule of friendship is communication. So... communicate!