It Could Have Happened Far Before

Sometimes we feel certain incidents should have happened far before than when they happened in our lives. I have been suffering from bipolar disorder for more than 3 years. Different from other usual cases, my case had many adverse factors that somehow worsened my condition and slowed down my recovery. I had my sister with me who had promised to help me until I recover. I did have hope and I decided to fight with the disease. I had many seriously depressed moods which gave her a hell lot of troubles and tension.Unknowingly or sometimes even knowingly I was getting too irritating to the people around, whom I thought, can bear with and forgive me. During all those bad stages, deep inside I had a determination to come out of that hell one day. I could resist a large number of suicidal tendencies.
But, at last one day came. Manners and words of my sister began to reflect a feeling that I had startd going too far. I began to be afraid of being open to her and express my feelings. That put me under too much suffocation because she was the only one I could ever unload my feelings upon. I was getting too suffocated. I could see her getting more and more impatient towards my deeds. Meanwhile i was suffering severly from some physical side-effects of my medicines and that sometimes prompted me to be irritating at times. At last I had to open my mouth and ask her what it all meant to be so impatient with me. She told it...'There is no such thing. I don't want you to be so sensitive. So i can't be soft always...'
The bipolars among you can understand how this dialogue would affect me...
I truly wish she could have told this far before. At least I could have avoided this long episode of  suffering on false hope...
dsvthampi dsvthampi
22-25, M
1 Response Dec 13, 2011

Hello ,so did a doctor say u have Bipolar? I know the pills take a long time to kick in and you have to adjust to them.When you feel closed in and a lion attack coming on lay on the floor and pray and exercise,have a place in your mind to go to ,a place you love and see it and put your self there.<br />
Bipolar will go away when your in your 40-50s,I have lived with 2 people in my life that have it and it does go away.Don't drink it gets worse.