Why Am I Different?

I fill so alone I am now 18 just turn last week. And sometimes I fill paranoid I keep having these driving dreams about me driving every night. I'm really not ready to start driving or move out or anything. When is this shyness going to go away?? it's so hard for me to talk i can't even have a conforsation and I make weird faces when I go places and people always ask me what's wrong and I keep saying nothing my mom always say I mug when Im around people I don't try to. It's been happening for years. Why can't I just be normal like everybody else. Know ever comes up to me anymore and try to start a confersation even If I'm still shy. I'm not confortable around people and it's even worse now I can't talk to my family not even my sisters to afraid to open up. I fill left out sometimes because I don't have any friends and I see other people with there friends and they look happy and there having fun and I'm alone. Now when people come up to me my heart is so dead i don't know why I'm just not friendly and I don't like going places and not a people person. But I do want to have really nice friends and not fake ones. People treated me so bad through the years that's why I can't really trust know one. Some people don't like me because I'm to quite. People still laugh at me for it. That's why I can be to friendly.
blackpepperfox blackpepperfox
18-21, F
Dec 1, 2012