I Dont Know Why

For some reason, and I'm not entirely sure why. even though I have awesome friends and family who support me I still can't help but cry when no one's looking. I feel like a horrible person at times because I wish that they would all feel how I do sometimes. I guess it's cause everyone I know is i na serious relationship and I mean everyone, every one of them are engaged, married, or approaching 1 year anniversary's. all of them except me, Im the only perosn that I know thats single, and it tears me up inside so much... I cant help but feel that something is seriously wrong with me, Im so afraid that Im going to die alone, that Ive sstarted having nightmare's about it. Its always the same my funeral and no ones there not even family, I stopped caring about my own happiness all because I wanted them to be happy and never suffer, My best friend is the most amazing, beautiful, and extremely stupid girl I've ever known. Im in love with her and she goes from relationship to relationship constantly getting screwed over by D-bags who don't care about her, I told her how I felt and her response was "Your the best friend I have I dont wanna risk losing it". Im just starting to feel so much so like no one can ever possibly help me, and worse than that im starting to develop this fear of talking to people because im afraid they'll use me or reject me Im so scared everyday and so heart heavy from feeling like im alone ... I dont know what to do anymore.

theboywhosleptin theboywhosleptin
22-25, M
2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

You feel alone, but you are not, I too have had some horrible struggles with the heart over the years and I feel alone in the same way you do, wondering if I'll ever find love. I guess we have to keep going and hopeing for a better tomorrow

you're not alone. there's always some1 out there 4 u. just be urself and don't be sad. there will come a time when u will meet some1 u treasured the most. it's just a matter of time. don't ever lose hope. well, at least u have families n friends who supported u. u just need 2 appreciate them more. there's a lot of people out there who are dead worse than u. be grateful. (^-^)